Thanksgiving is a delightful holiday and one of my favorites. I respect the concept of giving thanks for all that I have and all that is good in our world and I am one of the many who respect it and do not try to jump to the Christmas season and disregard the importance of the day of gathering of family and friends for feasting and celebration for the joys of life and comforts of family and friends we have made in life! Furthermore, I love hot turkey and gravy and delicious seasoned stuffing and all the delightful fixins such as potatoes and casseroles and of course one of my favorite all time pies- Pumpkin Pie! I usually eat another slice of pie for breakfast the next morning and who doesn’t love Thanksgiving leftovers? I remember so vividly the Thanksgiving days at my grandmother’s as a child filled with so many family members I could never keep them all straight and sometimes the gatherings required three tables. I could smell Grandma’s turkey and stuffing cooking even now!
This year’s Thanksgiving festivities will be vastly different than the last twenty or so for sure. In the past, my wife, daughter and son would travel in on the day before for the holidays and my wife and I would meet friends for drinks and then celebrate Thanksgiving dinner with one of our sets of parents- alternating each year. If we ate dinner at my parents then we would stop in for desert and gathering of the clan for desert at my wife’s mother’s place. My wife’s family is large and I mean very large since she had four siblings and each of them as well as us had two to three children plus some aunts and uncles. Two recent Thanksgivings come to mind for me. The last Thanksgiving I spent with my parents in 2005 shortly before my mother’s death from the dreadful disease which stole her mind and soul! We arrived that day to take my parents out for dinner since my father’s physical health prevented him for doing anything and my mother’s Alzheimer’s had stolen her faculties to prepare the culinary delights she was so famous for and which I try to carry on today. However, when we arrived that day we found them unable to go anywhere and my son and I had to hurry out to the store and find what we could to cook and we all dined together for the last time. My mother died a few months later. In 2006, we returned to dine with my wife’s family but what made this special was the fact that with some help from my son and a few of my brother-in-laws I was able to get my father out if the nursing home and bring him there to dine with my wife’s family. I know he enjoyed that so much and I did too for later that next spring he died and just before Christmas after the Thanksgiving in 2006 year my only brother was killed in an accident. Telling my father at Christmas was one of the toughest things I have ever done in my entire life. I felt like I had reached in and tore out a piece of his heart! In 2007, we again celebrated Thanksgiving with my wife’s family as I had none left but, by late November of 2007, I knew that would likely be the last one I would ever celebrate with my wife, children and her family as I was barely holding on for the sake of my children from emerging fully as Melissa and living the life I was meant to live as a women and fully out transgendered person I truly believe I was suppose to lead. This year’s Thanksgiving is vastly different than the ones from recent past. I am no longer welcome at my mother-in-laws and expectedly so. My wife and I are now entangled in a angry, bitter divorce that seems to get worse by the day and she is embarrassed of me and by me. My daughter, despite her education and training in psychology and cultural liberalism and open-mindedness and maturity has abandoned me to support her mother as if one has to choose sides and my son has not spoken to me since July. Thanksgiving 2008 is the most different Thanksgiving I will ever experience. I have Paula of course and for that I am most grateful and, if she was the only one I had to celebrate this day with along with others in the LGBT community at the Thanksgiving Day celebration at the LGBT community center for those who do not have families to go to I would be also joyful!! For the community is my family! I would also give thankful for and I would be happy for Paula is my life and I am so thankful we found each other and will live our lives together celebrating many wonderful holidays.
However, this year my sister in- law (brother’s wife) and my niece and her fiancé and my nephew and his new wife have invited me as well as Paula who has also lost the ability to dine with her mother and father and children and such at the request of those family members, to come and spend the holiday with them. I will admit I am a bit nervous for this will be the first time any of them has seen me as Melissa-my true essence and spirit and will also be introducing them to my soul mate Paula. I worry about things not going as well since they are all the family I have left now. Part of the problem is that my brother and I were not very close because of our ages (14 years apart) and my time with them has been very limited –yet they were the only ones to reach out and accept me as Melissa and support me and now they have invited me as well as my love Paula to come and be with them for this holiday. If all goes well however, then clearly 2008 will go down on my list as one of my favorite Thanksgivings ever along with the ones I discussed above. Well here’s to hoping it does and that all of you in out there in our community have a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with family and joy even if that family is defined solely by members of our community –for that is a wonderful family to have indeed and one to give thanks for as you gorge yourself on the feast! Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and I wish you all the peace and joy in the world! Hugs, Melissa
Pictured above is me with my good friend Joann for whom I am also thankful!
This year’s Thanksgiving festivities will be vastly different than the last twenty or so for sure. In the past, my wife, daughter and son would travel in on the day before for the holidays and my wife and I would meet friends for drinks and then celebrate Thanksgiving dinner with one of our sets of parents- alternating each year. If we ate dinner at my parents then we would stop in for desert and gathering of the clan for desert at my wife’s mother’s place. My wife’s family is large and I mean very large since she had four siblings and each of them as well as us had two to three children plus some aunts and uncles. Two recent Thanksgivings come to mind for me. The last Thanksgiving I spent with my parents in 2005 shortly before my mother’s death from the dreadful disease which stole her mind and soul! We arrived that day to take my parents out for dinner since my father’s physical health prevented him for doing anything and my mother’s Alzheimer’s had stolen her faculties to prepare the culinary delights she was so famous for and which I try to carry on today. However, when we arrived that day we found them unable to go anywhere and my son and I had to hurry out to the store and find what we could to cook and we all dined together for the last time. My mother died a few months later. In 2006, we returned to dine with my wife’s family but what made this special was the fact that with some help from my son and a few of my brother-in-laws I was able to get my father out if the nursing home and bring him there to dine with my wife’s family. I know he enjoyed that so much and I did too for later that next spring he died and just before Christmas after the Thanksgiving in 2006 year my only brother was killed in an accident. Telling my father at Christmas was one of the toughest things I have ever done in my entire life. I felt like I had reached in and tore out a piece of his heart! In 2007, we again celebrated Thanksgiving with my wife’s family as I had none left but, by late November of 2007, I knew that would likely be the last one I would ever celebrate with my wife, children and her family as I was barely holding on for the sake of my children from emerging fully as Melissa and living the life I was meant to live as a women and fully out transgendered person I truly believe I was suppose to lead. This year’s Thanksgiving is vastly different than the ones from recent past. I am no longer welcome at my mother-in-laws and expectedly so. My wife and I are now entangled in a angry, bitter divorce that seems to get worse by the day and she is embarrassed of me and by me. My daughter, despite her education and training in psychology and cultural liberalism and open-mindedness and maturity has abandoned me to support her mother as if one has to choose sides and my son has not spoken to me since July. Thanksgiving 2008 is the most different Thanksgiving I will ever experience. I have Paula of course and for that I am most grateful and, if she was the only one I had to celebrate this day with along with others in the LGBT community at the Thanksgiving Day celebration at the LGBT community center for those who do not have families to go to I would be also joyful!! For the community is my family! I would also give thankful for and I would be happy for Paula is my life and I am so thankful we found each other and will live our lives together celebrating many wonderful holidays.
However, this year my sister in- law (brother’s wife) and my niece and her fiancé and my nephew and his new wife have invited me as well as Paula who has also lost the ability to dine with her mother and father and children and such at the request of those family members, to come and spend the holiday with them. I will admit I am a bit nervous for this will be the first time any of them has seen me as Melissa-my true essence and spirit and will also be introducing them to my soul mate Paula. I worry about things not going as well since they are all the family I have left now. Part of the problem is that my brother and I were not very close because of our ages (14 years apart) and my time with them has been very limited –yet they were the only ones to reach out and accept me as Melissa and support me and now they have invited me as well as my love Paula to come and be with them for this holiday. If all goes well however, then clearly 2008 will go down on my list as one of my favorite Thanksgivings ever along with the ones I discussed above. Well here’s to hoping it does and that all of you in out there in our community have a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with family and joy even if that family is defined solely by members of our community –for that is a wonderful family to have indeed and one to give thanks for as you gorge yourself on the feast! Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and I wish you all the peace and joy in the world! Hugs, Melissa
Pictured above is me with my good friend Joann for whom I am also thankful!
No comments:
Post a Comment