As we come close to closing out yet another year I always take stock in what has happened in my life as we near the dawning of yet another year. 2009 will definitely go down in my memory as the most challenging and exciting years of my life. When I closed out last year I talked about the wild ride for 2008 that brought about many changes and I discussed what was to come in 2009 but that foretelling was only the tip of the iceberg in my life journey. There will probably never be another year like this one but that is good as I need to settle in a bit more although I know there are many more paths to trail in this journey and challenges ahead- at least I hope so anyway!
The beginning of this year brought about the inauguration of a new President - one that only 20 years ago would have seemed nearly impossible. An African- American was installed as our newest President although he came in under circumstances which were far from optimal and far more challenges than many other s had seen in sometime. I was driving to Boston that day with Paula for what would be the first of my surgical procedures on 2008 that would alter my body and anatomy to comport with not only my presentation but my inner essence and soul as well. We stopped in a service center in Connecticut for gas and lunch and watched the process on TV as it unfolded. I would have loved for my father to have seen this as he believed he would never see such a sight in his lifetime and he was right. He died a couple years to soon. My brother – one of the few people I know who actually admits voting for McGovern in 1972 would have loved it to but atlas his life had been cut short not long before our father.
Boston would involve about 13 days of stay in a hotel room while I recovered from the trauma and pain of having my face and head torn apart by a skilled plastic surgeon able to only eat soft foods in small bites and a routine of medicine, ice packing and even boredom relieved only by computer contacts and phone calls and a wickedly lengthy game of gin rummy with my partner, my love and my supporter – Paula! We left there to travel to Philadelphia where we both met with our surgeon to discuss the next round of surgeries as well. I returned home to find out I was had been terminated from working for a company on their planning projects because I was transgendered and people were uncomfortable working with me. I am sure that not too long ago people were uncomfortable working with African Americans and now such individual had become President of this great country of ours! I became more resolved than ever from this experience and Paula and I continued our efforts to seek justice, liberty and equality of opportunity and to pursue our happiness in life by continuing to work with groups such as TransOhio, Equality Ohio and NCTE to promote such concepts through rallies and lobbying, letter writing and meetings and workshops as we sought to have enacted Ohio HB 176 as well as ENDA and the Hate Crimes Bill. Discrimination and hatred against those of us in the LGBT community for simply being who we are and we who we want to be with must end and this struggle for dignity will endure for some time to come. We traveled to our state capital in Columbus as well as our nation’s capital in Washington, DC. There is still so much more work to do and we will continue to pursue these goals and face the challenges in the years to come.
The spring also brought about our move from Circleville to Columbus and we still are so grateful for all our friends who helped in this massive endeavor. I know there would pieces of stuff and some boxes left out in the parking lot of our complex if it was not for these wonderful people and I know simple thanks is not enough. Paula and I have always taken the position that our home is open to all who need to come just to chat or crash for a day or two or however long is needed to our friends even if that principle angered some others through our acts of kindness. We continue to maintain that principle.
By May we were making plans for the first trip to New Hope Pa for my long awaited gender confirmation surgery which others call by many other names such as GRS or SRS. However, to me it was GCS because it confirmed my true gender and being and merely altered the anatomy to comport with that true gender and the essence of who I am and always have been. New Hope is cool town and Dr. McGinn is an exceptional caring physician and my life in New Hope for two weeks again saw many challenges and more assault on my body from the GRs as well as another procedure. Even the preparation process beforehand was nothing fun to write home about! I should have invested in pain medication stocks before this year began- that is sure! I survived another long ordeal on the operating table and days in the hospital with an exceptionally caring staff and then shared a hotel with several other women like me who had undergone the ordeal the same week I did. Some great friendships were built which were not there when the year began.
In July it was time for another trip to New Hope. This time I would be the care provided as Paula underwent the GRS as well as another procedure. She had a bit more difficulty than I did in all this process but we still enjoyed our time in New Hope again. We made more friends and Paula received the same excellent care I did from the staff of the hospital. For both of us our life after these surgeries took on new challenges for us in the form of dilations! Both of us had to push our way through the legal and political process of getting new birth certificates and changing the gender markers on driver’s license and all other governmental and agency records.
Throughout this year Paula and I have become increasingly involved and active in our new spiritual home at North church – am open and affirming congregation of loving people that has extended our circle of friends and who are more like family to us. We are both actively involved in many committees and projects and community outreach endeavors. This church was also the place where Paula and I celebrated our love for each other in a same gender union ceremony in October. Paula and I were so happy to hold this service in front of our friends and “extended family”. We always will cherish the memories of this wonderful day!
This year has brought about a change for me in my career as I embark on yet another occupation. Using my experiences and education and training in government, law and business I became an instructor and embarked on teaching a generation of students that are the same age as my children. I love teaching a great deal and have found much joy and many challenges in this endeavor. Paula and I celebrated our second Christmas together and this marked yet another year that has gone by without contact from our family who have refused to even communicate with us by any means of communication currently known to humankind! It is sad and this lack of even trying on their part causes us some pain but we support each other and with the help of our friends we endure and go forward. Each day that goes by brings about the understanding that such communication and exchange may never come and while that is sad- it is something we have learned to deal with in our lives! I do not know what 2010 has in store myself or for us but after what all has gone in 2009, I don’t see how it could be any more of a wild ride then we have seen over the last couple years!
No comments:
Post a Comment