Fresh starts are sometimes necessary in one’s life and this is particularly true for the life of as transgendered person. Last summer after coming out to the world about who I truly was as a person I had to pick up the pieces of a failed marriage and loss of contact with my children and disassociation from many of my old friends and find a new place to live. I still had not gone through my name change yet and I needed a place on an interim level to carry me through living fulltime in my true essence. Fortunately, I had made contact with a sister in our community- Jenny who offered her place for that purpose and I moved there and began my life as Melissa in earnest. During this time, my love Paula moved down to be with me as she started her journey. Both of us went through some rough times with divorces and such but we moved on leaving behind bitterness and anguish to come through the other side. During this interim period we also each changed our name to reflect our true essence of who we are and have always been in our lives. We celebrated Christmas together and I recovered from my facial surgery. Jenny was gone all but a few days a month during the months Paula and I lived there because of her job and her surgery and we kept things going for her and took care of her home. We loved her animals and we cared for and tended to their needs as well. The arrangement helped her by having some people to keep an eye on her things while she attended to her work and surgeries out of the area and in the sharing of expenses on her place.
However, it was not our place and we knew that we could not stay there much longer as Jenny was on a different path in her life. She is gone all but a handful of days each month due to the demands of her work to another part of the country and she may, if things fall into place for her on her blossoming career, need to move there permanently. Paula and I also look forward to our impending surgeries so that our bodies will finally fit who we have always been on the inside. The surgeries are of great joy and welcomed anticipation to us- but as anyone knows who has been through this procedure or any other complex surgery, one’s strength is greatly diminished and the physical restrictions placed upon us by our surgeon would have precluded us from moving until well into the fall for sure and even then we would have needed even more help than we did this past weekend to accomplish the task.
Paula and I needed to find our own place and get settled into it before my surgery in May and Paula’s surgery in July. Practicalities of what this would involve for us physically left us with the need to find our own space and finish the move before any of these crucial events occurred. We found a place in Columbus itself which was closer to the activities we were involved with in our life. We knew it will be a difficult task to move. Despite divorces which left us with much less possessions than we had in our past, we had accumulated enough and moving would be no easy task. Fortunately, just like Jenny did when she opened her doors to us to settle after the dust storm had begun in our old worlds; we again found the warmth and support of many wonderful friends in our community. Our good friend Joann came from West Virginia for the weekend to help us. Our wonderful sisters Karen and Marilyn came over to help and God only knows we would never have made it without the “bulk” of strength provided by our male counterparts in this community: Braden, Shane and Kayden. It is amazing the strength these fine young men now all have after transitioning to live life as who they are as people. As we weak as Paula and I have grown with our process in the opposite direction, these young men have so much vigor and strength from theirs for sure. They are true gentleman in every sense of the word! We sincerely appreciate all the help we received in this move. We simply could not have done it without their help. Paula and I spent a few more days unpacking and putting some finishing touches on our new place. We still have more things to do but it is quickly shaping up to be our place where we can continue our life together and work our way through the final stages our transitions and into a our new lives being who we truly are as people.
We thank Jenny for opening her doors to us at the early stages of our life together and living as our true selves -Paula and Melissa and we wish her well in her path and journey. Our place here in Columbus will always be open and welcoming for any friend, sister or brother of our community. We are thankful for all our friends and all that they have done in helping us along on our paths in this journey. A new chapter of our life began this weekend as we started life in our new place together. It is a fresh start for us and we are thankful for all that helped make it happen!
However, it was not our place and we knew that we could not stay there much longer as Jenny was on a different path in her life. She is gone all but a handful of days each month due to the demands of her work to another part of the country and she may, if things fall into place for her on her blossoming career, need to move there permanently. Paula and I also look forward to our impending surgeries so that our bodies will finally fit who we have always been on the inside. The surgeries are of great joy and welcomed anticipation to us- but as anyone knows who has been through this procedure or any other complex surgery, one’s strength is greatly diminished and the physical restrictions placed upon us by our surgeon would have precluded us from moving until well into the fall for sure and even then we would have needed even more help than we did this past weekend to accomplish the task.
Paula and I needed to find our own place and get settled into it before my surgery in May and Paula’s surgery in July. Practicalities of what this would involve for us physically left us with the need to find our own space and finish the move before any of these crucial events occurred. We found a place in Columbus itself which was closer to the activities we were involved with in our life. We knew it will be a difficult task to move. Despite divorces which left us with much less possessions than we had in our past, we had accumulated enough and moving would be no easy task. Fortunately, just like Jenny did when she opened her doors to us to settle after the dust storm had begun in our old worlds; we again found the warmth and support of many wonderful friends in our community. Our good friend Joann came from West Virginia for the weekend to help us. Our wonderful sisters Karen and Marilyn came over to help and God only knows we would never have made it without the “bulk” of strength provided by our male counterparts in this community: Braden, Shane and Kayden. It is amazing the strength these fine young men now all have after transitioning to live life as who they are as people. As we weak as Paula and I have grown with our process in the opposite direction, these young men have so much vigor and strength from theirs for sure. They are true gentleman in every sense of the word! We sincerely appreciate all the help we received in this move. We simply could not have done it without their help. Paula and I spent a few more days unpacking and putting some finishing touches on our new place. We still have more things to do but it is quickly shaping up to be our place where we can continue our life together and work our way through the final stages our transitions and into a our new lives being who we truly are as people.
We thank Jenny for opening her doors to us at the early stages of our life together and living as our true selves -Paula and Melissa and we wish her well in her path and journey. Our place here in Columbus will always be open and welcoming for any friend, sister or brother of our community. We are thankful for all our friends and all that they have done in helping us along on our paths in this journey. A new chapter of our life began this weekend as we started life in our new place together. It is a fresh start for us and we are thankful for all that helped make it happen!
Pictured above is Paula and I in our new place taken by Joann before we went to church on Sunday.
1 comment:
congrats on how things are working our the two of you. We all deserve moments of success and joy. Melissa, you look great and I wish you well on your upcoming surgery.
Sarah
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