A few weeks ago I discussed my coming out to two female colleagues and the wonderful and exceedingly pleasant response I received from them when I did so. The industry in which I work is mostly female and the wonderful people in it hospitable professionals but Cathy and Mary were also my friends and it was nice that they also accepted me and wanted to remain friends as well. I additionally received exceedingly great news from my professional chapter on which I serve as a member of the Board of Directors which last week revised the website and directory to reflect my new life as Melissa including pictures on the website and the slideshow presentations to the chapter. I have received many letters of support from the other board members and all have begun addressing me in correspondence and phone calls as Melissa. I also received positive supportive letters from two companies/agencies I do work with which have already completed the process or in the process of updating their records for me to continue working for them as Melissa! While I surely welcome receiving this news my weekend finished with a grand ending with a luncheon with two of my old college buddies I have spent thirty years with these men in friendship.
David is my friend who has known about Melissa for a few years since he is also part of the LGBT community as a gay man. David came out to me a few years ago although I always suspected he was gay even back in college but when he told me about his sexuality several years back I felt he deserved to know my secret as well. Apparently this was not welcomed by some of my friends and acquaintances who have since learned about Melissa recently as they felt he should told others (them) and violated my confidence. David has received some grief about this most unfairly I might add. The bizarre nature in which some people think amazes me and I greatly appreciate the fact David held my secret in confidence until I was prepared to disclose it to the world. That to me is a good friend indeed. Stu is one of my closest male friends in my life and we met my first week of college and became friends instantly. We have vacationed together, gone to sporting events together and attended many parties and events together. Stu was best man at my wedding over 24 years ago.
I decided to meet both of them for lunch on Sunday after the attending the OPL function in Cincinnati Saturday night with Paula. Paula came with me to the luncheon which turned into a very pleasant two hour discussion of everything about my new life as Melissa to our college days in the fraternity which I doubt would now extend me an invitation to join as they did thirty years ago. We laughed about old times and talked of the future times and both David and Stu have come to grips with my new life as Melissa and want to continue our friendship of thirty years into the future although I am sure it will be different as they now associate with a woman friend. Paula enjoyed talking with them as well and afterward as we drove back to the house in Columbus she commented on how much she enjoyed meeting my old friends and thought they were wonderful people. I have had two lengthy conversations with Stu and David on the phone where we discussed more about me and being transgendered and the changes to come but this in person meeting over a delightful lunch was special as we talked about our past and our future as friends. I hope other friends will follow their led and want to meet and associate with me in the future in such manner but even if they don’t I have two wonderful friends in Stu and David who clearly demonstrate what true friendship is about in life. All I can tell anyone about coming out to friends and family in transition is this – be open to fact that in some cases the relationship will end or take a lengthy absence and in some cases people will accept you as who you really are and move forward in life with you in a new but albeit different relationship built on the past and the future.
David is my friend who has known about Melissa for a few years since he is also part of the LGBT community as a gay man. David came out to me a few years ago although I always suspected he was gay even back in college but when he told me about his sexuality several years back I felt he deserved to know my secret as well. Apparently this was not welcomed by some of my friends and acquaintances who have since learned about Melissa recently as they felt he should told others (them) and violated my confidence. David has received some grief about this most unfairly I might add. The bizarre nature in which some people think amazes me and I greatly appreciate the fact David held my secret in confidence until I was prepared to disclose it to the world. That to me is a good friend indeed. Stu is one of my closest male friends in my life and we met my first week of college and became friends instantly. We have vacationed together, gone to sporting events together and attended many parties and events together. Stu was best man at my wedding over 24 years ago.
I decided to meet both of them for lunch on Sunday after the attending the OPL function in Cincinnati Saturday night with Paula. Paula came with me to the luncheon which turned into a very pleasant two hour discussion of everything about my new life as Melissa to our college days in the fraternity which I doubt would now extend me an invitation to join as they did thirty years ago. We laughed about old times and talked of the future times and both David and Stu have come to grips with my new life as Melissa and want to continue our friendship of thirty years into the future although I am sure it will be different as they now associate with a woman friend. Paula enjoyed talking with them as well and afterward as we drove back to the house in Columbus she commented on how much she enjoyed meeting my old friends and thought they were wonderful people. I have had two lengthy conversations with Stu and David on the phone where we discussed more about me and being transgendered and the changes to come but this in person meeting over a delightful lunch was special as we talked about our past and our future as friends. I hope other friends will follow their led and want to meet and associate with me in the future in such manner but even if they don’t I have two wonderful friends in Stu and David who clearly demonstrate what true friendship is about in life. All I can tell anyone about coming out to friends and family in transition is this – be open to fact that in some cases the relationship will end or take a lengthy absence and in some cases people will accept you as who you really are and move forward in life with you in a new but albeit different relationship built on the past and the future.
1 comment:
What a wonderful new life that you have discovered hidden under 'Dave', I hope that you continue to have fun and your life grows as Melissa.
Great post. Looking forward for the 'Rest of the Story'.
Sarah
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