I don’t know about the rest of you but I have grown tired of winter. I know there are some out there that actually like winter and look forward to it. Yes, I know one can go ice skating and skiing and other such activities during the winter months. Some people just love snow and that is fine but it is not my cup of tea for sure. I grow tired of winter not too long after the Christmas decorations have been put away and the New Year’s festivities have ended. Winter is dreary; the days seem so short and night so long. Grey skies are commonplace and it is often bitterly cold and the snow often becomes massively accumulated and intermixed with ice and sleet. Travel is more difficult including flying.
I find by the time Valentine’s Day comes and goes that I am nearly ready to scream and cannot wait until that first warm day in spring when the sun’s rays hug my body and make me feel alive again. It feels so good to my body and awakens my dark cold slumber and shakes off the effects of a long cold winter. Sometimes I like to go in search of that crazy rodent in Pennsylvania who seemingly every year sees his blasted shadow and predicts six more weeks of winter – like he really cares- he is snuggled asleep underground where it is warm and cozy. He probably always predicts more winter just to get revenge on us humans who insist on dragging him from his long winter’s slumber in warmth just for some display on a day named after him. Thank God it is February is a short month and March is ahead of us- maybe spring is not far behind.
Spring brings some rain for sure but it also brings warmer days and longer days and a better hope that when you wake up the day will have some sunshine and temperatures will soar into the 60’s and the birds will sing and sitting outside for breakfast becomes possible. Spring is followed by summer which can be intense in the humidity that is prevalent around here but the days are warm and usually sunny and the days are longer and travel is easier. Summer leads to fall which is a favorite of mine except it is followed by the ugliness of winter! Fall brings dry crisp warm days and cool but not cold nights- a true delight. However, without winter, appreciation of spring and its rebirth and summer and its long sunny days and fall with its rich clearness and colorful display would not be possible. Just a few more weekends and it will be St. Pats Day which is always a good reason to celebrate the fact that winter’s expiration is only a few days away and spring’s rebirth is on its way. This winter was special for me this year because of my travel to the even colder Northeast to undergo my facial feminization surgery which brought about the rebirth of my face to more readily reflect the femininity of Melissa but like winter and its slow progression towards spring I still am working through the effects of this surgery. Stitches still reside inside my mouth making it difficult to clear my food and my lips are still trying to relax and permit me to enunciate certain sounds better and the rhinoplasty still makes me sound like I have a constant sinus infection and a way too nasally sound in my voice. My skin and jaw still feel tight. I still have some swelling often get an itch on my head but while I can sense the itch I cannot even feel much of my finger scratching the itch and it too feels tight. I seem to get just a little better each day and soon when weeks and months have passed and the warmth of spring is upon us all, I will feel more comfortable and things will still have settled and I will look like a rebirth has occurred in my face just as it does when spring awakens us from our long grey dreary slumber of winter. This spring will also be another period of rebirth for me. For just as I grow comfortable form the increasingly longer warmer days of spring and my face and head settles into a comfort like that of spring, I will undergo yet another procedure or two that will finally bring my body into peace with my soul, my essence and my true inner self. This rebirth will be followed by long days of summer in which time I will learn more about my new body which will be the one I should have been born with but which I know little about. It will also be a time for reflection and growth as a woman but the long warm days of summer will provide that opportunity for me so that when my fall comes I am basking in its colors and enjoying its warmth and briskness and hopefully by then preparing myself for the winter to come and maybe it won’t be so bad after all……one never knows…..
I find by the time Valentine’s Day comes and goes that I am nearly ready to scream and cannot wait until that first warm day in spring when the sun’s rays hug my body and make me feel alive again. It feels so good to my body and awakens my dark cold slumber and shakes off the effects of a long cold winter. Sometimes I like to go in search of that crazy rodent in Pennsylvania who seemingly every year sees his blasted shadow and predicts six more weeks of winter – like he really cares- he is snuggled asleep underground where it is warm and cozy. He probably always predicts more winter just to get revenge on us humans who insist on dragging him from his long winter’s slumber in warmth just for some display on a day named after him. Thank God it is February is a short month and March is ahead of us- maybe spring is not far behind.
Spring brings some rain for sure but it also brings warmer days and longer days and a better hope that when you wake up the day will have some sunshine and temperatures will soar into the 60’s and the birds will sing and sitting outside for breakfast becomes possible. Spring is followed by summer which can be intense in the humidity that is prevalent around here but the days are warm and usually sunny and the days are longer and travel is easier. Summer leads to fall which is a favorite of mine except it is followed by the ugliness of winter! Fall brings dry crisp warm days and cool but not cold nights- a true delight. However, without winter, appreciation of spring and its rebirth and summer and its long sunny days and fall with its rich clearness and colorful display would not be possible. Just a few more weekends and it will be St. Pats Day which is always a good reason to celebrate the fact that winter’s expiration is only a few days away and spring’s rebirth is on its way. This winter was special for me this year because of my travel to the even colder Northeast to undergo my facial feminization surgery which brought about the rebirth of my face to more readily reflect the femininity of Melissa but like winter and its slow progression towards spring I still am working through the effects of this surgery. Stitches still reside inside my mouth making it difficult to clear my food and my lips are still trying to relax and permit me to enunciate certain sounds better and the rhinoplasty still makes me sound like I have a constant sinus infection and a way too nasally sound in my voice. My skin and jaw still feel tight. I still have some swelling often get an itch on my head but while I can sense the itch I cannot even feel much of my finger scratching the itch and it too feels tight. I seem to get just a little better each day and soon when weeks and months have passed and the warmth of spring is upon us all, I will feel more comfortable and things will still have settled and I will look like a rebirth has occurred in my face just as it does when spring awakens us from our long grey dreary slumber of winter. This spring will also be another period of rebirth for me. For just as I grow comfortable form the increasingly longer warmer days of spring and my face and head settles into a comfort like that of spring, I will undergo yet another procedure or two that will finally bring my body into peace with my soul, my essence and my true inner self. This rebirth will be followed by long days of summer in which time I will learn more about my new body which will be the one I should have been born with but which I know little about. It will also be a time for reflection and growth as a woman but the long warm days of summer will provide that opportunity for me so that when my fall comes I am basking in its colors and enjoying its warmth and briskness and hopefully by then preparing myself for the winter to come and maybe it won’t be so bad after all……one never knows…..
Pictured above is Paula and I at the Valentine's Day Dinner and Dance
No comments:
Post a Comment