Well I have had these new body parts for a few weeks now and there has been some adjustments indeed so I thought I would take the opportunity with this blog to assess my first impressions of this new life with the right anatomy although I have much more to go to learn about it and to continue my journey spiritually as well. The surgical procedures did more than just change my anatomy. Heck they even affected my internal thermometer. My ex- wife would be roaring with ironic laughter right now! I have always been a very warm blooded soul who more likely than not overheated and always felt so warm that I cranked up the AC in the house and in the car to ice box levels. Ice cycles hung from my ceiling of my house and formed on the inside of my car windows! Even at my old office my secretary wore a sweater all summer to keep herself warm while sometimes I still overheated while working at my desk. The raging battle at my old household was for control of the thermostat with my ex seeking to turn up the temp and me turning it down. I operated in the household with shorts and a t- shirt while she wore long pants and used blankets. I remember one time I owned a car with dual climate control and my ex-wife absolutely loved it. Each side of the car differed by twenty degrees in temperature and I am not exaggerating either! They all would be laughing now- my ex and my old secretary watching me shiver in a restaurant and sit in a room without the AC going or putting on a jacket to go into a store to keep warm. I guess I had it coming. Even Paula who is more coldblooded in nature is happy and smirking that my thermostat is now more in line with hers……Somehow I am not seeing the humor in all this!
And just so I can experience what cold really is in contrast to, nothing of course suits postop TS better than those lovely hot flashes which have you ripping off the sheets and wanting to strip naked as your body temp rises to a near boiling level. Yes, post op TS woman experience what post menopausal women experience in terms of hot flashes. Whoooooooooooo Nelly – those are sure fun! I even broke down and got one of those little battery operated fans to blow on me when an episode strikes. I remember my mother having one of those and using it frequently after her hysterectomy. Great- I have further evidence I have become my mother…..This is not funny!
Then of course I did not get to experience the “joys” of using feminine protection during my early years of my life due to my birth defects of being born with the wrong body parts. However, no woman should go through life without such an experience and post operative TS woman get to use this protection every day for about six months and I am changing the pad three to four times a day. If I had known this stuff was going to get used this much I would have invested in stock of these companies long ago! I could be floating in money by now! And let’s not forget those feminine wipes. Let’s see…some for the upstairs bathroom and some for the downstairs bathroom and don’t forget to put some in your purse for travel use. Yeah- I will stick them right next to the extra pad I carry around in my purse- like there was not enough stuff accumulating in the purse already!
Dr. McGinn, my surgeon utilizes the most aggressive schedule for dilation of any surgeon in the world. Her strategy is similar to the voting strategy of my old stomping ground in southern West “By God “Virginia where crooked politicians (are there really any not so crooked ones?) encourage you to vote early and vote often and vote even if you are dead! Dr. McGinn follows this approach and requires her patients to dilate six times a day for the first eight weeks. To be quite honest, like that of my good old West Virginians, I am not sure that death is an excuse not to vote or not to dilate. I figure I am spending time preparing to dilate, the dilation time itself and then clean up from the dilation- so easily this occupy a good five hours of my day. Considering I try to get a good night’s sleep that is a good chunk of my waking time indeed. When asked what my occupation is I should just say I am a “dilation specialist.”
Now the bathroom thing is no big deal since I have been using woman’s restrooms ever since I began presenting in my true gender identity and I am very comfortable sitting to pee and even did so at my residences. I actually enjoy sitting down to pee. There was one and only one advantage to the old genitals as I actually saw it and that was when you had to go badly and the only “bathroom” around was some old rusty, stinky, filthy gas station restroom that looked like World War Three had broken out or even worse- a porta potty where thoughtless men have urinated and such all over the “lovely” seats that sit over a hole! That was the time and the only time to revert to the old reliable method in the vertical position with the directional spout.. That is no longer an option however! My friend Anne talked the other day about trying to pee in nature on a camping trip with her Girl Scout Troop and doing the squatting thing…..I can just see it now …how many pairs of shoes do I need to bring with me to try that stunt? My doctor did not let me, or anyone else who just got their catheter out, to leave her office without demonstrating we can pee so after she removed the packing and catheter I sat in her lobby and drank five bottles of water in near chugging fashion until I hurriedly moved to the bathroom to demonstrate I could pee. I will say this however, a few drips on the butt cheeks and down the back of the leg are not uncommon -but it’s no big deal.
Really, I jest a bit with regard to the physical changes I have experienced since this miracle surgery which still blows my mind. So what if there are a few drips in the sitting to pee method and someone has to make some money on pads, panty liners and feminine wipes. I don’t care if I need a jacket or blanket now and then -even in the summer and my little fan is kind of cute. I furthermore don’t care if Dr. McGinn wants me to dilate ten times a day. None of these things matter! For the first time in my life I can look down upon my body and gaze upon the body that I knew all along should have been there and it is so incredibly beautiful to me! Even my panties fit better and my skin grows softer and softer by the day!
It is not the physical changes that concern me at all! However, in the coming weeks I will address the issues that really do concern me -which focus much more on the societal pressures and emotional challenges that now stand in my path of my journey as Melissa. But as for the body, I am so happy that my body now fully reflects my soul, my spirit and essence for the first time in my life! I will however try to avoid tailgate parties that utilize porta potties and decline invitations for long extended hikes in the woods or camping trips but on the other hand maybe all the summer humidity won’t be a so much a problem as it use to be with the old thermostat! I wish again to thank everyone for their kind words and thoughts and prayers during this process and my recovery. Hugs to all my friends and my sisters and brothers in my community and beyond!
And just so I can experience what cold really is in contrast to, nothing of course suits postop TS better than those lovely hot flashes which have you ripping off the sheets and wanting to strip naked as your body temp rises to a near boiling level. Yes, post op TS woman experience what post menopausal women experience in terms of hot flashes. Whoooooooooooo Nelly – those are sure fun! I even broke down and got one of those little battery operated fans to blow on me when an episode strikes. I remember my mother having one of those and using it frequently after her hysterectomy. Great- I have further evidence I have become my mother…..This is not funny!
Then of course I did not get to experience the “joys” of using feminine protection during my early years of my life due to my birth defects of being born with the wrong body parts. However, no woman should go through life without such an experience and post operative TS woman get to use this protection every day for about six months and I am changing the pad three to four times a day. If I had known this stuff was going to get used this much I would have invested in stock of these companies long ago! I could be floating in money by now! And let’s not forget those feminine wipes. Let’s see…some for the upstairs bathroom and some for the downstairs bathroom and don’t forget to put some in your purse for travel use. Yeah- I will stick them right next to the extra pad I carry around in my purse- like there was not enough stuff accumulating in the purse already!
Dr. McGinn, my surgeon utilizes the most aggressive schedule for dilation of any surgeon in the world. Her strategy is similar to the voting strategy of my old stomping ground in southern West “By God “Virginia where crooked politicians (are there really any not so crooked ones?) encourage you to vote early and vote often and vote even if you are dead! Dr. McGinn follows this approach and requires her patients to dilate six times a day for the first eight weeks. To be quite honest, like that of my good old West Virginians, I am not sure that death is an excuse not to vote or not to dilate. I figure I am spending time preparing to dilate, the dilation time itself and then clean up from the dilation- so easily this occupy a good five hours of my day. Considering I try to get a good night’s sleep that is a good chunk of my waking time indeed. When asked what my occupation is I should just say I am a “dilation specialist.”
Now the bathroom thing is no big deal since I have been using woman’s restrooms ever since I began presenting in my true gender identity and I am very comfortable sitting to pee and even did so at my residences. I actually enjoy sitting down to pee. There was one and only one advantage to the old genitals as I actually saw it and that was when you had to go badly and the only “bathroom” around was some old rusty, stinky, filthy gas station restroom that looked like World War Three had broken out or even worse- a porta potty where thoughtless men have urinated and such all over the “lovely” seats that sit over a hole! That was the time and the only time to revert to the old reliable method in the vertical position with the directional spout.. That is no longer an option however! My friend Anne talked the other day about trying to pee in nature on a camping trip with her Girl Scout Troop and doing the squatting thing…..I can just see it now …how many pairs of shoes do I need to bring with me to try that stunt? My doctor did not let me, or anyone else who just got their catheter out, to leave her office without demonstrating we can pee so after she removed the packing and catheter I sat in her lobby and drank five bottles of water in near chugging fashion until I hurriedly moved to the bathroom to demonstrate I could pee. I will say this however, a few drips on the butt cheeks and down the back of the leg are not uncommon -but it’s no big deal.
Really, I jest a bit with regard to the physical changes I have experienced since this miracle surgery which still blows my mind. So what if there are a few drips in the sitting to pee method and someone has to make some money on pads, panty liners and feminine wipes. I don’t care if I need a jacket or blanket now and then -even in the summer and my little fan is kind of cute. I furthermore don’t care if Dr. McGinn wants me to dilate ten times a day. None of these things matter! For the first time in my life I can look down upon my body and gaze upon the body that I knew all along should have been there and it is so incredibly beautiful to me! Even my panties fit better and my skin grows softer and softer by the day!
It is not the physical changes that concern me at all! However, in the coming weeks I will address the issues that really do concern me -which focus much more on the societal pressures and emotional challenges that now stand in my path of my journey as Melissa. But as for the body, I am so happy that my body now fully reflects my soul, my spirit and essence for the first time in my life! I will however try to avoid tailgate parties that utilize porta potties and decline invitations for long extended hikes in the woods or camping trips but on the other hand maybe all the summer humidity won’t be a so much a problem as it use to be with the old thermostat! I wish again to thank everyone for their kind words and thoughts and prayers during this process and my recovery. Hugs to all my friends and my sisters and brothers in my community and beyond!
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