Fun with the Gala "Education"

Wow …….it’s cold and snowy and the girls are pouring in from all over for what I cannot believe is my fourth Lake Erie Gala. It is hard to believe that Gala is already here again and this year I have been heavily involved in planning and organizing this week long fun-filled wonderful event. This year attendance picked up late but it is really picking up and before the weekend is out we will have nearly 85 people here at the event celebrating its Tenth Anniversary. There are some girls who have been coming for all ten years!!
The week of shopping and pampering, diners and site seeing and late night partying is a conference unlike others in our community. It is a more organized event that the delightful Saugatuck and it dos not have the workshops and seminars like that of the Be-all or SCC. All these are wonderful events and I have been to them and learned and enjoyed much and met many wonderful people in our community. The Gala is a social gathering and it involves organized day activities like site seeing to wineries and train stations and chocolate factory and an in indoor putt putt golf tournament. We have a casino night and glitter fair and night out for comedy clubs and dinner at a delicious Irish Restaurant. That is the real gem of the Gala beyond meeting some of the friendliest and warm group of sisters you would ever want to meet anywhere in the world. The Gala is designed for fun and social activities and building friendships but don’t be fooled by all the fun you will have by coming to it –it is also and important educational event!
Educational you say Melissa …….why there are no workshops or seminars or anything of the sort. It is simply getting girls out to venues such as restaurants and museums and wineries and converted railroad stations and many other public venues. Yes it is – but those opportunities to get out in broad daylight for shopping and site seeing and diners with your sisters is by itself educational for many new or recently out sisters who until they come her had only been out little or not at all and when they did it was to clubs and bars under the cloak of darkness. The Gala changes all that and provides the opportunity to break new barriers for girls in getting out under the watchful eye of some seasoned sisters like Marsha, Laura, Cindy, Josephine, Gerri or Melanie and I guess I would now have to say Melissa Marie Alexander. I think if my wife could go back in time to change the course of events in my emergence as Melissa and decision to live fulltime as who I really am she would chose to go back to the days before I left for the first time to come to Erie Pa and spend a week living as Melissa. I showed up a girl who had been out for a while but mostly to clubs and a few choice restaurants. I left at the end of the week not only with many friends and sisters but also with the confidence to go to malls at noon, shop in downtown stores, go to plays, museums and other sites in broad daylight and be proud of who I was as a human being. My confidence soared and grew exponentially that week. I tasted for the first time what it would be like to live my life as Melissa. I left there a changed person- one that was committed to finding the peace and happiness I had been missing living as somebody I was not and it began the movement of my journey towards living fulltime today and the courage to undergo some complicated procedures that will make my body comport with my soul! So that my friends is education and a very important piece in my life and in the life of many of my sisters even those who don’t decide to go fulltime. They do gain the confidence to go anywhere and be themselves and be proud of who they are as people- transgendered people! The Gala also serves to provide education to the public as well. The people of Erie have been invaded each year at this time by transgendered people who pump money into their city economy and who by their contact with us at restaurants, museums, wineries and golf courses as well malls and spas get the opportunity to interact with us and learn that we are just people- fun loving and warm hearted people who just happen to be transgendered! The city has been slowly educated- one citizen at a time.
So gather up your parkas and snow boots girls and head on up to Erie Pa for its Tenth Anniversary Gala. You will warm up to its welcoming friendly people and find many wonderful sisters –some of whom will become your closes friends in the community. You will not regret it! Spouses are always welcome and maybe that will educate them as well and you can find a peaceful coexistence or a deeper understanding. All in all it is a wonderful time and loads of fun and one you simply do not want to miss! It is time to gather in Erie for the Gala and let the “real life education” begin and the fun and support to carry you through.

The Lake Erie Gala (Fall 07)

The Lake Erie Gala occupied my time for the past week took away my attention from most things. Understandably, the experience has provided great insight into my life and my journey as Melissa. For the first time ever I lived nine consecutive nights and days presenting myself as Melissa in various situations all of which I dealt with successively for all that life threw at me and that exactly what the Gala is about my dear sisters. Growth comes from the engagement and creativity. I commenced this lengthy experiment on Saturday November 10th by spending some time getting pampered in a day spa which I so love to do every once in while (actually I would love to do it more but it is not cheap as you know) and then getting ready for the Canton GNO which worked out perfectly since I was only about 90 minutes from my last few days of work. GNO’s are fun and provide me the opportunity to see my friends periodically and do some dancing but I realize their limitations as far as being Melissa. Many girls never get beyond the level of going to these events first in boi mode then later under the cloak of darkness enfemme but I also realize that is OK and everyone progresses at different levels of comfort or sometimes reaches a point where that is all they go in their journey. I know that is not me but for those who are there I say this – go at your own pace and find your comfort level and if it is attending an event such as this then enjoy and you are still my sister and my friend. At least I got to do dinner with some friends before hand.

On Sunday I got up and dressed and got on the road to Erie Pa for one of my favorite events all year- The Lake Erie Gala. I stopped for lunch along the way and dined by myself. The Gala is special for me for many reasons. First, it is a great time. Secondly, I get to see many dear friends who because of distances I can only see once a year. Thirdly, the event is different than many other transgendered events in that its purpose – beyond just having fun is for to provide opportunities for girls who have never been out to do so in the support and company of their sisters and also because of the way it is structured it provides opportunity to push girls out into very public situations in broad daylight – again with the support of their sisters. The Gala is not an event where you stay congregated in hotel but instead are taken on bus tours and trips to museums, theatre, shopping, wineries and sightseeing all in very public settings where one must learn to interact with the public and the public in turn must learn to accept or at least tolerate us and maybe they will see we are just people having some fun like anyone else. I realized it was a year ago when I first ventured to the Gala as transgendered person who only went out at night to TG friendly establishments and that was it for me. I got out a lot but it was not the same as I have in the past year. The Gala helped me grow more than I ever realized in that I grew very very comfortable with dining out for any of our daily meals, going to plays and theatre, museums and shopping or just for a cup of hot java at the coffee shop whether it was with friends or just all on my own. Once you truly embrace who you are and grow comfortable with presenting this person to society you just reach a point where you do not care whether others in society (other than those situations which present risk to one’s life or health) accept you are not. I hope they do- but if they don’t well I guess that is their loss.

On Sunday evening I dined in the only place which needs to open I guess according to Erie Pa on Sunday- the local sports bar filled with drunken testosterone driven men all upset because their team lost again or gloating because the team won. The food was good and I had no problem with walking to this place from the hotel or being the only transgendered person in there. I met up with a few of my friends who like me had come early and we headed out for a drink or two to catch up with each other’s life. On Monday I ran some errands and got my hair (OK wig) trimmed and styled and had lunch by myself at the local diner. On Monday evening I dined with a few friends over a pint of ale and some great food at a local Irish pub by the warm fireplace( Erie is a cold city in mid November for sure) Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday was a three pronged attack on the Erie retail industry other wise know as shopping. Mall shopping on Tuesday was followed by thrift and consignment shopping on Wednesday and finally outlet mall shopping on Thursday each with a lunch at some local establishment or the food court. .Needless to say the wardrobe has gotten bigger. (Those bargains are so hard to pass up if they have your size) Friday was a day of touring , sightseeing and museums including the Marx toy museum where I got to see the toys I had as a child (the little parking garage and service station that moved my little cars up and down and the Rockem Sockem robots) and the ones I really wanted but did not get(the dolls). I also helped my roommate come out in public for the first time and did her makeup for her before she did ( dang that is hard to do) I got to dine at more fun places and spent my nights dancing at the club with friends or going to a comedy club or a country western karaoke bar. By the way, I cannot sing but I sung three songs this past week including one by myself. However, I realized the secret- wait till near the end when everyone is so sloshed they really can’t tell you can’t sing. On Sunday, I spent the morning saying goodbyes to my dear friends and packing up the car and drove again presenting as Melissa to be at a special event and then have dinner on my own. Yes, the comfort level has surely changed over the last year and my happiness has increased. The journey will progress for me as well as others who try just as I have done in the past year.