Thanksgiving 2008

Thanksgiving is a delightful holiday and one of my favorites. I respect the concept of giving thanks for all that I have and all that is good in our world and I am one of the many who respect it and do not try to jump to the Christmas season and disregard the importance of the day of gathering of family and friends for feasting and celebration for the joys of life and comforts of family and friends we have made in life! Furthermore, I love hot turkey and gravy and delicious seasoned stuffing and all the delightful fixins such as potatoes and casseroles and of course one of my favorite all time pies- Pumpkin Pie! I usually eat another slice of pie for breakfast the next morning and who doesn’t love Thanksgiving leftovers? I remember so vividly the Thanksgiving days at my grandmother’s as a child filled with so many family members I could never keep them all straight and sometimes the gatherings required three tables. I could smell Grandma’s turkey and stuffing cooking even now!
This year’s Thanksgiving festivities will be vastly different than the last twenty or so for sure. In the past, my wife, daughter and son would travel in on the day before for the holidays and my wife and I would meet friends for drinks and then celebrate Thanksgiving dinner with one of our sets of parents- alternating each year. If we ate dinner at my parents then we would stop in for desert and gathering of the clan for desert at my wife’s mother’s place. My wife’s family is large and I mean very large since she had four siblings and each of them as well as us had two to three children plus some aunts and uncles. Two recent Thanksgivings come to mind for me. The last Thanksgiving I spent with my parents in 2005 shortly before my mother’s death from the dreadful disease which stole her mind and soul! We arrived that day to take my parents out for dinner since my father’s physical health prevented him for doing anything and my mother’s Alzheimer’s had stolen her faculties to prepare the culinary delights she was so famous for and which I try to carry on today. However, when we arrived that day we found them unable to go anywhere and my son and I had to hurry out to the store and find what we could to cook and we all dined together for the last time. My mother died a few months later. In 2006, we returned to dine with my wife’s family but what made this special was the fact that with some help from my son and a few of my brother-in-laws I was able to get my father out if the nursing home and bring him there to dine with my wife’s family. I know he enjoyed that so much and I did too for later that next spring he died and just before Christmas after the Thanksgiving in 2006 year my only brother was killed in an accident. Telling my father at Christmas was one of the toughest things I have ever done in my entire life. I felt like I had reached in and tore out a piece of his heart! In 2007, we again celebrated Thanksgiving with my wife’s family as I had none left but, by late November of 2007, I knew that would likely be the last one I would ever celebrate with my wife, children and her family as I was barely holding on for the sake of my children from emerging fully as Melissa and living the life I was meant to live as a women and fully out transgendered person I truly believe I was suppose to lead. This year’s Thanksgiving is vastly different than the ones from recent past. I am no longer welcome at my mother-in-laws and expectedly so. My wife and I are now entangled in a angry, bitter divorce that seems to get worse by the day and she is embarrassed of me and by me. My daughter, despite her education and training in psychology and cultural liberalism and open-mindedness and maturity has abandoned me to support her mother as if one has to choose sides and my son has not spoken to me since July. Thanksgiving 2008 is the most different Thanksgiving I will ever experience. I have Paula of course and for that I am most grateful and, if she was the only one I had to celebrate this day with along with others in the LGBT community at the Thanksgiving Day celebration at the LGBT community center for those who do not have families to go to I would be also joyful!! For the community is my family! I would also give thankful for and I would be happy for Paula is my life and I am so thankful we found each other and will live our lives together celebrating many wonderful holidays.
However, this year my sister in- law (brother’s wife) and my niece and her fiancé and my nephew and his new wife have invited me as well as Paula who has also lost the ability to dine with her mother and father and children and such at the request of those family members, to come and spend the holiday with them. I will admit I am a bit nervous for this will be the first time any of them has seen me as Melissa-my true essence and spirit and will also be introducing them to my soul mate Paula. I worry about things not going as well since they are all the family I have left now. Part of the problem is that my brother and I were not very close because of our ages (14 years apart) and my time with them has been very limited –yet they were the only ones to reach out and accept me as Melissa and support me and now they have invited me as well as my love Paula to come and be with them for this holiday. If all goes well however, then clearly 2008 will go down on my list as one of my favorite Thanksgivings ever along with the ones I discussed above. Well here’s to hoping it does and that all of you in out there in our community have a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with family and joy even if that family is defined solely by members of our community –for that is a wonderful family to have indeed and one to give thanks for as you gorge yourself on the feast! Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and I wish you all the peace and joy in the world! Hugs, Melissa
Pictured above is me with my good friend Joann for whom I am also thankful!

Little Miss Melissa Crocker and the Pillsbury Doughgirl

Ok I will admit the last couple weeks my blogs have been more on the serious side and kind of heavy. Always happens when you talk about things like love and respect of people. Both are great topics and to be quite honest, we could use a lot more of both in our world and in our community. So this week I decided to keep in light and airy like a pastry shell. In fact, I am going to discuss pastry shells and all sorts of decadent, delicious mouth watering treats that one can bake and cook, or as I say “create in the kitchen”, because truth be known, I very much love to cook and bake. Unlike many folks however, I can actually cook and bake and do both exceedingly well! My mother was an extraordinary cook and even more exceptional baker of delectable treats such as cookies, cakes and pies and other pastries. I can remember as a young child watching her work in the kitchen baking and cooking for days for all sorts of things like fundraisers, carnivals, school functions, and of course family events like the holidays and graduations or whatever it may have been although I doubt she needed much excuse to bake or cook. She was outstanding in her element and her creations were raved about in the community. Even some of my friends would connive their way to stay over my house for supper anytime they could for they knew they would be fed exceedingly well! Even at my graduation party where people were partying like there was no tomorrow my mother made oodles of food to eat with our liquor and beer and odd sundries of partying fun!
When I was young I studied mom in the kitchen as much as I studied her dress and use of accessories in her fashion and I learned from her some of the baking and cooking secrets and I absorbed them like a sponge. I would assist mom in making of her culinary projects and my skills sharpened as I did. I learned little tricks and the use of proper tools, mixers, pots and pans and most importantly for cooking the secrets to seasoning and sauces! I honed these skills form time to time under her tutelage and then on my own. College life, while being a time of much denial for expression of Melissa, did lead to apartment life and apartment life did provide me opportunity to hone even further my cooking and baking skills! I, unlike many other college students did not live on pizza and beer……....well beer maybe but I cooked and baked and even fed the neighbors from time to time and the fact they were nice young, blonde and brunette coeds was of no consequence! They loved my cooking and baking and I could even con them into doing the dishes from time to time.
When I got married my wife admitted she was not a good cook (just average) and a very poor baker. In fact, she will freely admit to anyone who will listen that I am the far better chef than she is or ever was. When we entertain, I do about 90 % of the cooking and baking for the party or dinner we were hosting for friends. When birthdays roll around no one around here would have a cake if it was not for me. Holiday cookies would be non existent if we had to rely on her and I bake normally somewhere between six to ten different types of made from scratch cookies for the holidays. When I worked in office at the holidays most of the staff hinted for weeks how much they would love to get tin or two of my pastries and I always obliged. Mom would have been proud of me with regard to my cooking and baking skills. In fact, when she died my brother insisted I take the three large boxes of recipes from her collection – some of which contained hand me downs from my grandmother who was an impressive chef herself. The keys of course to cooking are creativity, the right tools and the use of sauces and seasonings that bring the food alive in your mouth! Maybe someday I will host the first transgendered cooking and baking show – The Transgendered Chef ….. I can see it now as I stroll about the kitchen in my pink hat and apron discussing the use of fresh herbs from the garden. Maybe I may own a nice cozy bed and breakfast someday and cook and bake for the guests each morning wonderful delightful dishes and pastries and watch the smiles roll over their faces. Who knows what the future holds but one thing is for sure, I do love to cook and bake and I do it pretty darn well if I must say. Below are a couple recipes…one of mine own creations and one from my grandmother passed down to me from my mother. Enjoy…. Bon Appetite’
(A Melissa favorite)
Sautéed Shrimp and Artichokes over angel hair pasta
Prepare angel hair pasta according to directions although I recommend using the wheat pastas.
Dice up 1 red and 1 yellow pepper until they are into small slivers.
Add one can of chopped black olives
Take and cut up into pieces two cups of shitake mushrooms
Next cut up into about eighths some fresh if you can find it or can if you can’t, artichoke hearts.
Pour the cut up vegetables into a large sauce pan and stir in butter and olive oil. Add in some small teaspoons of cilantro, oregano, garlic, chopped onion, black pepper, celery seed and rosemary leaves. Pour in just a dash of hot sauce. Cook until all vegetables are done but not soggy. Pour the vegetables into strainer with bowl below. Pour contents of bowl back into skillet and cook shrimp with shell and tail off until done (only takes a few minutes. Pour the vegetables back in and cook all the ingredients a few minutes more. Serve over the angel hair pasta. Spread on grated cheese and parsley
Grandmother’s Sauerkraut Balls
Grind one half pound of ham and one half pound of pork sausage and add in 1 medium yellow onion choppedand1 tsp of parsley. Sauté all of these ingredients until brown. Add in2 cups of flour and 2 cups of milk, 1 tsp of salt and 1 tsp of dry mustard. Cook until thick. Add in 2 lbs of sauerkraut drained and chopped. Form mixture into balls and roll in flour, dip in beaten egg and roll into bread crumbs. Deep fry the sauerkraut balls at 370 degrees. These can be dipped into cocktail sauce as well