The Coffee Bitch and Crack Whore ( Spring 2007)

I always enjoy meeting, spending time and getting to know my sisters and this weekend in Akron was no exception. In fact, it was a very nice treat for me to spend some extra time with a special girl Emma. Emma contacted me after we met briefly at the GNOA in February of 2007 and we chatted back and forth for a month. During that time we got to know each other and felt pretty comfortable and realized we liked many similar things. So when Emma realized she was going to have the whole weekend free, and my scheduled permitted me to come up from Columbus where I was working on Friday evening and spend the weekend in Akron, we decide to get a room a Red Roof a night earlier and spend some time having some girl fun.
Emma and I both love doing girl things like makeup, shopping, pampering and primping (not pimping). We find them both relaxing and enjoyable and opportunities to do some girl things with other girls that neither of us got to do when we were in high school when were still over compensating in sports and struggling with denial. We never got to do those things that other girls did together. So why not doing them over a weekend and tie it all in with the GNO as well. I arrived Friday evening and Emma was already there. She claims I looked vastly different in boy mode and was stunned when I came in room. I don't share her sentiments because I believe my eyes give me away- not that I really care. Both of us got dressed and we decided to offer each other our advice on makeup. I showed Emma the use of my primer wheel which works to conceal red areas, circles , and yellow tones as well as a tip on mascara ( always brush both up as well as down on lashes ) I also showed her my use of the L’Oreal two in one shocking mascara( definitely worth the cost). She showed me a tip on eyebrows as well as eyeliner by use of her cover girl perfect eyeliner pencil ( this is the stuff we all have could used in high school instead of how to destroy your opponents on the field ) .Then Emma let me do something I have always wanted to try - the styling of her hair. Emma is one of those fortunate girls that gets to use her real hair and gets to enjoy styling it while it is on her head. She showed me hoe to use her hot curlers and styling hot air brush and picture and I had a fun styling her hair. I don't think it came out too bad for my first time and I enjoyed doing it for her. Afterward we did a photo shoot and then crashed after eating our Chinese food we had ordered with a bottle of wine.
The next morning I discover something else about Emma -although this definitely not her best attribute. She likes to get up early (I mean real early girls for a Sat morning) and the next thing I know I am woken up by her movements in the room at 6AM! However, to her credit she had brewing the coffee I brought in the coffee maker she brought. I adore coffee in the morning and maybe all day long although the morning is very essential. She poured me some in my pink coffee cup (now there's a surprise!) and she continued to do so for two hours while we chatted about some many things in our lives. I essentially never had to leave the comfort of my bed while she continued to brew coffee and serve me cups in a manner which would have made any waitress at Denny’s or IHOP proud! So I began to kidding and affectionately calling her my coffee bitch ... (oh coffee bitch my cup is running low).
After cleaning up and getting some breakfast we took turn doing each other's nails - hers in musty brown and mine in of course -pink) WE decided to go up to Salon 176 and get some facials done which were exceedingly nice pampering ( I know I could have fallen asleep as the warmth of the towels covered my face and the water trickled down beside me - so incredibly relaxing). We scurried back down the road and began getting ready for the dinner Chloe had so nicely arranged at Quaker Square) and then of to the GNO at Lydia’s. Emma offered to do my eye colors and I gladly accepted her offer. just that time Beth came around and rehashed the story of my commenting on my how poorly I had done my eyes in December at the Christmas Party ( see previous blog) and that I had thought I looked like a crack whore on a Sat night. After that Emma began affectionately and kidding calling me crack whore the rest for the time. We hurried off to dinner and then Lydia’s for a wonderful evening of fun with our sisters and before you know it and a trip to Denny's it was Sunday morning (an hour shorter thanks to Daylight Savings Time) . But my awakening resulted in two things happening. First , I truly did look like a crack whore because in my rush to hit the pillow I had only partially removed my makeup but before long I heard the gurgle of the coffee maker brewing hot coffee and soon my coffee bitch was pouring me cup as I lay prone in my bed. We chatted some more and got cleaned up and packed and soon our weekend of girl fun ended with the crack whore and the coffee bitch exchanging hugs and extending well wishes and hopefully knowing a bit more about each other while enjoying a great weekend of girl fun. Emma is a wonderful girl and I see myself as truly enriched by the wonderful girl time we had together! Now if only I could find a way to bottle up the part of her that has my coffee brewing and in my cup next to my nightstand before I leave the confines of my bed I would be even more enriched!

Pamper me ! (January 2008)

Oh heavenly wonders this girl does love pampering! I love it more than shopping, and I do love to shop, and almost as much as love finding a good deal on a pair new heels. Pampering is a truly wonderful thing that most men never experience because they consider it too feminine and girlie. I on the other hand simply adore pampering and love it so much I might advise you to invest in some stock based in spas and salons. I have given gifts of certificates for afternoon at spas and salons to several friends and even my wife and many times I have found that the certificates go unused for so long I would not be surprised that the certificates have expired! That my friend is like sacrilege! Somebody gives me a gift certificate for a day or afternoon or heck even and hour of pampering and I at the spa or salon so fast you would not have time to utter the word pampering before I have that appointment booked. I am a spa junkie needing that pampering fix so bad heroin junkies have less problems with withdrawing from their addiction than I would giving up the delights of delightful delicate pampering such as facials, massages, manicures, and the mother of all pampering ……the pedicure ..Oh it’s to die for girl!

The facials are delightful things in that they do help restore your face and I do these delights on occasion although I will admit a bit more frequently now that I have been tearing the face up with the hot needles from electrolysis. It seems restore some of the balance to my face as it loses hair follicles and has a more feminine appearance. Massages are great stress relief and when you have pressure situations with work and lots of typing or driving as I often have which puts much stress on the shoulders and back. Massages are highly wonderful devices to get that tension and stress out of one’s body. I am so relaxed during these babies I usually drift off to sleep while the tension is smoothed away. I also enjoy a good manicure primarily because I am not particularly great at doing my nails myself as I age and my eyes don’t focus as well on the details and using my non dominate hand to do the nails on the dominate one usually results in a bit of sloppiness. I like keeping my nails looking pretty. However, the mother of all pampering is the pedicure! Oh my- these are heavenly delights and are literally to die for girls. If you have never done one – you have missed out on the best thing in the salon or spa. If you have only one choice of service to get at a spa even if it’s just once every few months – let me say this …Choose the Pedicure! Your poor little feet carry you around all day and sometimes at night in heels and dancing and your feet get pounded on by the floors and streets and everything else they have to endure while holding the burden of your weight as well Give the little darlings a treat. The first thing you get to do is sit back in a comfy soft chair that applies heat and massage to your back and shoulders as you recline. Then your feet are places in a warm bubbly tub that massages your feet and soaks them with such pleasures I would rate the experience as even better than sex! After soaking your feet, one at time they are attended to with scrubbing and exfoliate and wrapped and primped with cuticles preened and the nails shaped and filed. After more and more soaking and scrubbing and the application of lotion, the little darlings are then coated with gloss and a delightful color of pretty polish. I am in heaven at that point for it is truly pampering at its finest girls! In fact I hope that the afterlife is full of such rich pleasures such as pedicures and other forms of pampering. If its not I am not sure I want to be there! So girls- go pamper yourself. All those years when you were pretending to be the macho guy and pushing everything and playing while hurt and all that other bull is in the past ..Enjoy your femininity and love of pampering…I know I will. See you at the spa or salon ladies!!!