Cruising before Barack

As I mentioned I also recently got back from a Caribbean cruise sponsored by Pink Essence in which forty people form our community went on and we all had a great time indeed. Who wouldn’t on a cruise?? We met in Miami on Wednesday and it was also my first time flying as Melissa but since my Id and picture now match my name on my ticket and how I live it was no brainer and I sailed through TSA security. We all dined together Wednesday night at the hotel and this of course began the five days of food frenzy that takes place on a cruise ship which has food available twenty-four seven including buffets, diners, sit down lunches, pizzerias and burger joints and every possible food group including a Chocoholics feast. It seems like I Cruising the Caribbean and Barack Obama………what do these two things have in common? Well not much I would say except that my recent days have been spent cruising for the first time as Melissa with many wonderful friends or voting for our new President for the first time being who I really am as a person. I had fun with both as the cruise was fabulous and so was the outcome of the election with the selection of this country’s first non white President on an historic night that hopefully will bring about change for our country. This country has been lingering in malaise for some time now without leadership. I don’t care whether you liked his policies or not but what bugged me the most about George Bush was his lack of leadership over the last few years and his failure to respond to pressing economic needs and his continuation of fighting a war in a place we don’t understand, and are not wanted, all while spending tons of money which could have been easily directed elsewhere in our own country. George needed to do something as the leader of our nation and he did not do so. He simply coasted the last couple years and enjoyed being President without doing anything as a leader. He was slow to respond to crises which arose over last few years and really has not shown leadership since 2002 after the 911 situation. I may not like what he proposed to do but doing nothing is not an option for a leader of our country in the 21st century.

I feel the main reason McCain lost was most people were fed up with George and his lack of doing anything and that the country needed new energy and change which Barrack would bring. It’s that simple.
Curiously, I noticed the south still has trouble with voting for black person. Let me say this as a southerner who has only been recently transplanted
to being a Yankee- the war between the states is over! While I still enjoy southern hospitality, sweet tea and grits, southerners need to embrace change in this country and get over the racism, hatred and prejudice and move forward in their lives. I also noted that the fact that my old state West Virginia voted for McCain despite being a state with Dems outnumbering the Elephants two to one. Two reasons why this happened folks……racism among rural Appalachian people and religious right wing fundamentalists who make up the composition of state of my family heritage. I am also very hopeful that with the gain in seats in Congress and our new President that next year will bring about the enactment of the Hate Crimes bill and ENDA and end discrimination (with enforcement) against the LGBT communities of which I am very much proudly a part of indeed!
was eating about every few hours. Additionally, my lovely sign and sail card took a good beating from all the delightful frozen concoctions I consumed during the cruise as the drinking seemed to start each day around 11 am and ended in the wee hours of the morning!

I knew several girls on the cruise such as Debbie, Carol, Jackie, Tara Brandy, Martina and Joan and of course my roomie for the cruise – my good friend Joann. Joann brought three bikinis by the way and modeled a different suit each day at the pool. I also met some wonderful new friends like Rachel and Jan as well as Leslie Ann. I additionally met a lovely girl named Amy who is transitioning, looking at the same surgeons I am and who started on hormones one day before me last January. We chatted for sometime and she and her spouse are really wonderful girls! I enjoyed the ports of call at Key West and Cozumel and did some shopping for jewelry, ornaments and other items. I will admit cruising is not a hard life and I love do it- but this time it was special. We got some looks from others and few were rude but most were neutral and a few took the time to meet us and ask questions and some admired our courage to live and enjoy life as who we are as people. I especially enjoyed chatting with a woman by the name of Jane who lives in Maryland and we spent hours talking and she was curious but very supportive and she hugged me and even gave me gift of one of her pieces of jewelry and told me to be myself, be happy and live life to its fullest! What a wonderful human being and I wish her so much peace and happiness. If more people in the world were like my new friend Jane the world would indeed be a better place! Like all good things the cruise came to end too soon but I loved being with tables of my sisters from all over the US and relaxing a bit…….now if I can just work off all that cheesecake, tiramisu and a delightful decadent dish called Chocolate Melting Cake I might be able to actually fit my clothes again!!!

Fulltime Conferencing

Life at a transgendered conference is surely different for a full time girl! This week, following a road trip to Atlanta with Paula and Tara, I attended Southern Comfort Conference, the largest transgendered conference in the world. 844 people attended SCC this year and although down from last year’s 982 it was a great showing of transgendered people in a tough economy. The conference is a wonderful time to see old friends and make some new one which I did both o for sure. It was great to see old friends like Linda, Jia and Danielle as well as some regulars from the area like Barbie, Jenni, Lana and Chloe. I met some wonderful new people like Karen, Raquel and Cheryl as well as a very cool couple from Nova Scotia Canada in Emma and Jen. Jen was the first transwoman to transition in Nova Scotia and she and Emma did a wonderful workshop on post transitional issues which was extremely thought provoking.
The site of the SCC provides an excellent source of shopping and dinning experiences and I took full advantage of them- finding both great deals on clothes (a business suit for fewer than fifty bucks and a business jacket to accessorize some slacks and skirts for my professional activities). I also found some very pretty jewelry. Paula and I dined with Cheryl and her wife Beth one evening and I am sure she found our conversation intriguing to say the least. I attended some wonderful workshops on areas that are now my focus. In years past it was topics such as transition, hormones, electrolysis and coming out to others. Those have already happened for me and now the focus is on completing my anatomical changes to bring my body in line with my inner soul and essence. I attended several workshops on GRS and FFS and met with several surgeons on consults for these procedures coming up in 2009. Based on them and on my extensive research for many months and interviews with former patients, I made decision on both the procedures and plan to have FFS with Dr. Spiegel in Boston Mass and GRS with Dr. Christine McGinn in Doylestown Penn. Hopefully, if all goes well I will have had these procedures all completed by the middle of 2009 and following recovery continue to move forward in my life.
SCC also provided its second annual Career Fair and I submitted resumes and talked with various employers about possibilities and opportunities in their companies. I plan to submit more resumes online as well and I am also seriously exploring a partnership with a local transgendered girl and meanwhile working some freelance projects in the area. It will take some time to get it all sorted out but it will come and I will succeed and move forward in my life professionally as well. Now the SCC is also fun for evening socializing and I took full advantage of the same. There is a very friendly and cool club in the beltway called Le Buzz which providing some good fun for all!! I believe one of my highlights of this conference was the ability to attend workshops conducted by two of my favorite authors of the transgendered community in Donna Rose and Jenny Boylan- the authors of two of my favorite memoirs of transgendered people “Wrapped in Blue” and “She’s Not There” I had the time to chat with both and Donna delivered a very stirring and powerful address to the convention on Saturday afternoon of courage and conviction. I got both of them to sign my books with a personal note and I will treasure those meetings and I look forward to meeting them in the future as well.
The big difference for me at this SCC is that when I left I departed as who I am and in the manner I live my life everyday. I saw the sadness in many faces of “men” as they were leaving the hotel after living their dreams for a few days and nights. In the elevator I heard one of the boi mode attendees turn and say to another “ Well I guess it is time to return to reality” I kind of chuckled and chimed in….well for some of us this is reality. Today I continue living my life fulltime as Melissa and enjoying life as much as I can with passion and conviction and a sense of opportunity and contentment I have not felt in years. It is truly different experience and I am embracing it as well as I can and enjoying it all. I am more peaceful than I have ever been in my life and I know this is the right path for me. Find your peace whatever and wherever that may be on the spectrum that encompasses our community and live it and enjoy it! Hugs to all my friends in our broad and loving transgendered community!

Chocolate Delights

Chocolate is a dish made by the gods for sure. It is even the subject of one of my intriguingly favorite modern films-“Chocolat”. Some of my fondest childhood memories involve standing on a chair in my mother’s kitchen as I waited till she finished pouring the chocolate batter into the pan and immediately asked if I could like the spoon and bowl of this sweet dark brown flowing delight! I, like most other girls love this delicious rich delectable immensely and I think a true love of chocolate is shared by many true girls both those of the genetic nature and those of us of the transgendered variety. Chocolate melts in your mouth and sends a sensation through me that can almost rival intense passion – almost! I love to make chocolate dishes and treats but most importantly I love to sink my teeth into some just about anytime. Recently, I discovered, although not surprisingly, that my love Paula also enjoys this wonderful pleasure (among many which she enjoys!) as well and it is another wonderful thing we can share and we have as well.

Our first real chocolate experience together came on our first weekend together we spent after the weekend we spent together in which we shared our feelings for each other discussed in our blogs a few weeks ago. On this particular weekend I took Paula to a restaurant in Columbus for dinner which she fell in love with just as I had done last year when I ate there a few times. We enjoyed dinner immensely and we shared good conversation and drinks and a splendid meal. Following the meal, our waiter offered us a choice of desserts and upon hearing them our mutual interests turned instantly to a wonderfully sounding and ultimately decadent chocolate cake with several layers. We decided that although we planned on dancing later, the meal had been quite filling and that we would share a piece of this rich chocolate delicacy. We did not order two plates however and when the plate of this yummy dish arrived Paula and I decided we would do something neither of us had done in a very long time! We took our forks and began taking pieces off this mound of chocolate heaven and feeding it to the other taking turns placing the chocolate in each others mouth and watching the sheer pleasure this delightful offering gave the other. The chocolate melted like a bath of murky sweetness in our mouths and I loved watching the expression on her face as much as I loved tasting it upon her loving offering of it to me. It was truly one of the most intimate acts we had done for each other and somehow I think it will be repeated!
Recently we had another chocolate experience together during one of our recent times together. After a” rough” day of shopping (well I was unable to find a pair of heels I wanted for a dress) we passed a delicious purveyor of chocolate in one of the shops. It did not take an army to get us to quickly turn into this store and examine the treats in the cases below. We studied them well and questioned the clerk and then picked out four little pieces of heaven which she placed in the bag and smiled as she gave them to us. We were driving shortly thereafter and we decided to break into some of this wonderful bag of treats! Upon sitting in the parking lot we each sampled one of them and both us moaned with pleasure as we ate a piece of this wonderful treat. The remaining pieces were saved for later and shared in one of the most erotic evenings we had ever experienced in our young but growing relationship. Let’s just say that we found a few places that one can eat chocolate out of and off of that added a slightly salty taste to the confines of the delicious chocolate treats. Yes indeed- chocolate is the fruit of the gods and I truly love it but my love of Paula has brought me to love it even more! I am trying to expand her culinary interests so I am glad we have this common love of chocolate to share and explore as well! Now- if only I could get her to like sushi!!!

The Coffee Bitch and Crack Whore ( Spring 2007)

I always enjoy meeting, spending time and getting to know my sisters and this weekend in Akron was no exception. In fact, it was a very nice treat for me to spend some extra time with a special girl Emma. Emma contacted me after we met briefly at the GNOA in February of 2007 and we chatted back and forth for a month. During that time we got to know each other and felt pretty comfortable and realized we liked many similar things. So when Emma realized she was going to have the whole weekend free, and my scheduled permitted me to come up from Columbus where I was working on Friday evening and spend the weekend in Akron, we decide to get a room a Red Roof a night earlier and spend some time having some girl fun.
Emma and I both love doing girl things like makeup, shopping, pampering and primping (not pimping). We find them both relaxing and enjoyable and opportunities to do some girl things with other girls that neither of us got to do when we were in high school when were still over compensating in sports and struggling with denial. We never got to do those things that other girls did together. So why not doing them over a weekend and tie it all in with the GNO as well. I arrived Friday evening and Emma was already there. She claims I looked vastly different in boy mode and was stunned when I came in room. I don't share her sentiments because I believe my eyes give me away- not that I really care. Both of us got dressed and we decided to offer each other our advice on makeup. I showed Emma the use of my primer wheel which works to conceal red areas, circles , and yellow tones as well as a tip on mascara ( always brush both up as well as down on lashes ) I also showed her my use of the L’Oreal two in one shocking mascara( definitely worth the cost). She showed me a tip on eyebrows as well as eyeliner by use of her cover girl perfect eyeliner pencil ( this is the stuff we all have could used in high school instead of how to destroy your opponents on the field ) .Then Emma let me do something I have always wanted to try - the styling of her hair. Emma is one of those fortunate girls that gets to use her real hair and gets to enjoy styling it while it is on her head. She showed me hoe to use her hot curlers and styling hot air brush and picture and I had a fun styling her hair. I don't think it came out too bad for my first time and I enjoyed doing it for her. Afterward we did a photo shoot and then crashed after eating our Chinese food we had ordered with a bottle of wine.
The next morning I discover something else about Emma -although this definitely not her best attribute. She likes to get up early (I mean real early girls for a Sat morning) and the next thing I know I am woken up by her movements in the room at 6AM! However, to her credit she had brewing the coffee I brought in the coffee maker she brought. I adore coffee in the morning and maybe all day long although the morning is very essential. She poured me some in my pink coffee cup (now there's a surprise!) and she continued to do so for two hours while we chatted about some many things in our lives. I essentially never had to leave the comfort of my bed while she continued to brew coffee and serve me cups in a manner which would have made any waitress at Denny’s or IHOP proud! So I began to kidding and affectionately calling her my coffee bitch ... (oh coffee bitch my cup is running low).
After cleaning up and getting some breakfast we took turn doing each other's nails - hers in musty brown and mine in of course -pink) WE decided to go up to Salon 176 and get some facials done which were exceedingly nice pampering ( I know I could have fallen asleep as the warmth of the towels covered my face and the water trickled down beside me - so incredibly relaxing). We scurried back down the road and began getting ready for the dinner Chloe had so nicely arranged at Quaker Square) and then of to the GNO at Lydia’s. Emma offered to do my eye colors and I gladly accepted her offer. just that time Beth came around and rehashed the story of my commenting on my how poorly I had done my eyes in December at the Christmas Party ( see previous blog) and that I had thought I looked like a crack whore on a Sat night. After that Emma began affectionately and kidding calling me crack whore the rest for the time. We hurried off to dinner and then Lydia’s for a wonderful evening of fun with our sisters and before you know it and a trip to Denny's it was Sunday morning (an hour shorter thanks to Daylight Savings Time) . But my awakening resulted in two things happening. First , I truly did look like a crack whore because in my rush to hit the pillow I had only partially removed my makeup but before long I heard the gurgle of the coffee maker brewing hot coffee and soon my coffee bitch was pouring me cup as I lay prone in my bed. We chatted some more and got cleaned up and packed and soon our weekend of girl fun ended with the crack whore and the coffee bitch exchanging hugs and extending well wishes and hopefully knowing a bit more about each other while enjoying a great weekend of girl fun. Emma is a wonderful girl and I see myself as truly enriched by the wonderful girl time we had together! Now if only I could find a way to bottle up the part of her that has my coffee brewing and in my cup next to my nightstand before I leave the confines of my bed I would be even more enriched!