Dark Ages, Families and Firsts

Sunday morning at the new abode and I am still living in the dark ages! You know the ‘dark ages” – the time period before Cable TV and the internet. Last week’s violent storm left me in the dark for a while and our power line ripped from the house and laying across the yard and upper floor deck as pieces of wood shattered about the roof. The power got restored in a day but I am now entering my eighth day without internet or Cable TV as apparently the storm winds tore apart our service and left me in the dark ages. Paula is still only here a few days a week and Jenny is back out in NM for work after her return home for less than forty eight hours. So I am left alone and facing the dark ages. One does not begin to realize how much one needs the internet until they are without it for any length of time. I have to bring my computer everywhere to find other sources of the “information highway”. It is roughing for sure my friends. The internet is how I run my business and find work. It is how I stay connected to friends…….it is how I find out what is going on the world. I get e-mails from old friends who find out about me and offer their support. I stay connected with my lawyer back in Huntington as I work my way through the tangles of the divorce and my legal name change. What miniscule reports or news (or chastising) I get from my immediate family comes from the internet. I feel like I got off the information highway at an exit only to find there was no return to the road. Maybe I can some guy in long trench coat out there somewhere in a seedy alley selling internet. (Hey baby…….need a connection??) I hope they get this straightened out soon. One can only live in the dark ages so long.
My middle part of the week was exciting as I attended my first professional event and Board meeting for my MPI Chapter as Melissa. I was welcomed with open arms at the Board meeting and no one even slipped up on name or pronoun. I was very pleased indeed! I met up with some of my friends in the ladies room of the Hilton Hotel where I received several hugs and a warm welcome the “club”. The luncheon had about 90 people there and it was great program and I found much more support and understanding. Several women had long chats with me about my transition, the future and life as a woman. Again I got all sorts of hugs and much support and understanding and for my first time doing anything professionally, it went pretty well. I was very happy that day and I know I can function as Melissa in professional settings. I have some resumes in and some wonderful business opportunities I am exploring including partnering with another TS sister on a business venture. I feel the best way to approach anything in work settings is to be confident and stay relaxed which helps you fit in and blend into the new situations for others as well as you.
Finally this past weekend Paula and I did our first entertaining as Jenny had returned for a quick fix of laser and some fresh clothes and we hosted dinner for her parents. Jenny’s parents were exceptionally super people and I, as well as Paula, thoroughly enjoyed meeting them and it is so nice when parents ultimately accept and embrace you for who you are as a person. I also enjoyed cooking and baking for guests and because her mother is a vegetarian I decided to make an old recipe I have for vegetarian lasagna and some fresh break. Jenny grilled some Italian sausage and her mother made a fruit salad that was out so delicious. Good food led to good company and delightful chats and shortly after mother and father left her sister and her husband and niece and had a wonderful time chatting with them as well. Jenny’s sister is very supportive of her and it was good to see them share things with each other and they seemed to have grown closer since jenny came out. Paula and I enjoyed meeting them so much! On Sunday, I got a call from my friend Chloe who wanted to take advantage of the beautiful weather to fly with Denny to visit and I was so glad she called. Paula and I met them at the airport with her children in tow and we had a bite to eat and we showed them the house and chatted about our lives and changes and the upcoming trip to SCC in Atlanta. The kids enjoyed the cats and beautiful lovely parrot and we shuttled them back out to the airport for their return and went back to the house to finally relax. It was a most wonderful weekend of visits indeed.
I snuck in an hour internet over the weekend by driving to Panera Bread and I found several wonderful e-mails of support. Apparently, I am the topic of much discussion in my old town so I might as well enjoy it for in a month or two it will be all blown over and I will be yesterday’s news. However, for the moment my website is apparently generating many hits of curious seekers as the hit meter is evidently spinning like a turnstile. Now if I can only find some internet I can post this blog and maybe check out the hit meter. Dark ages seem to be all around me and I feel like a a CNN reporter announcing…………………..
“Day nine and the internet and cable are still being held hostage!”
Pictured above is me with my good friend Debbie Dunkle taken three months ago who I will see again next week in Atlanta for SCC

True Friends -Part Deux

A few weeks ago I discussed my coming out to two female colleagues and the wonderful and exceedingly pleasant response I received from them when I did so. The industry in which I work is mostly female and the wonderful people in it hospitable professionals but Cathy and Mary were also my friends and it was nice that they also accepted me and wanted to remain friends as well. I additionally received exceedingly great news from my professional chapter on which I serve as a member of the Board of Directors which last week revised the website and directory to reflect my new life as Melissa including pictures on the website and the slideshow presentations to the chapter. I have received many letters of support from the other board members and all have begun addressing me in correspondence and phone calls as Melissa. I also received positive supportive letters from two companies/agencies I do work with which have already completed the process or in the process of updating their records for me to continue working for them as Melissa! While I surely welcome receiving this news my weekend finished with a grand ending with a luncheon with two of my old college buddies I have spent thirty years with these men in friendship.

David is my friend who has known about Melissa for a few years since he is also part of the LGBT community as a gay man. David came out to me a few years ago although I always suspected he was gay even back in college but when he told me about his sexuality several years back I felt he deserved to know my secret as well. Apparently this was not welcomed by some of my friends and acquaintances who have since learned about Melissa recently as they felt he should told others (them) and violated my confidence. David has received some grief about this most unfairly I might add. The bizarre nature in which some people think amazes me and I greatly appreciate the fact David held my secret in confidence until I was prepared to disclose it to the world. That to me is a good friend indeed. Stu is one of my closest male friends in my life and we met my first week of college and became friends instantly. We have vacationed together, gone to sporting events together and attended many parties and events together. Stu was best man at my wedding over 24 years ago.

I decided to meet both of them for lunch on Sunday after the attending the OPL function in Cincinnati Saturday night with Paula. Paula came with me to the luncheon which turned into a very pleasant two hour discussion of everything about my new life as Melissa to our college days in the fraternity which I doubt would now extend me an invitation to join as they did thirty years ago. We laughed about old times and talked of the future times and both David and Stu have come to grips with my new life as Melissa and want to continue our friendship of thirty years into the future although I am sure it will be different as they now associate with a woman friend. Paula enjoyed talking with them as well and afterward as we drove back to the house in Columbus she commented on how much she enjoyed meeting my old friends and thought they were wonderful people. I have had two lengthy conversations with Stu and David on the phone where we discussed more about me and being transgendered and the changes to come but this in person meeting over a delightful lunch was special as we talked about our past and our future as friends. I hope other friends will follow their led and want to meet and associate with me in the future in such manner but even if they don’t I have two wonderful friends in Stu and David who clearly demonstrate what true friendship is about in life. All I can tell anyone about coming out to friends and family in transition is this – be open to fact that in some cases the relationship will end or take a lengthy absence and in some cases people will accept you as who you really are and move forward in life with you in a new but albeit different relationship built on the past and the future.