“Russ I have known you for a very long time, and you know what you ask me to do is permanent, are you absolutely sure you want this? ( Judge O’Hanlon on last question from bench to me at hearing) …….Yes your honor, I very much want this Sir (me)……Ok… your petition is GRANTED and here are your certified copies of the order (Judge O’Hanlon)……. “With these simple words Judge Dan O’Hanlon executed my Court Order in the Circuit Court of Cabell County West Virginia and granted my long sought desire to have the government officially recognize me for who I always have been and to begin to bring me peace in my life as I live fulltime as Melissa. With that order, my life can begin anew as Melissa Marie Alexander. I can move forward with the knowledge that my identification now reflects who I always have been despite my old shell’s best attempt to hide her away for so long. I had the biggest smile on my face I have ever had in so long in a courtroom and I thought some of my sisters who came to witness it were going to have to peal me off the ceiling of the hallway as I exited the courtroom following hugs of joy and much happiness!! Paula even got a picture of me outside the Courthouse with my order to mark the occasion. I did not have much time to dawdle though as I quickly sped off to Social Security Administration for a new Social Security Card and to DMV for a new driver’s license. Only this time….the picture and name now reflect who I truly am and really always have been! I will freely admit I pulled it out a few times that day just to look at it in order to make sure I was not dreaming!! When the waitress asked us for ID last night at our celebration party I whip my new ID out so fast I nearly tore the plastic off it…I dropped off my passport application in the mail to get my new passport as Melissa as I proceeded about the day. I don’t think I could have been any higher than I was that day. September 26, 2008…….Melissa Marie Alexander becomes recognized by the government as real person. I am so very excited and so very happy!! I mailed off letters with certified copies to my creditors so they too can share my joy (actually so they can find me and my credit cards and accounts will have my proper name and address.)
Many people have asked me how I came to be named Melissa or why I chose Melissa as the name of my true identity. I know many times transgendered girls identify their feminine name by feminizing their given name at birth. For example, Paula feminized Paul; a Tony can become a Tonya or Carl becomes Carla. Others are not able to do so without their name sounding a bit silly so they pick a name that is feminine but it at least begins with the same letter. For example, George becomes Gina or Jim becomes Jane. However, I could only think of one name which would be a feminizing version of my birth name and that was Rochelle but I never connected with that name even in the slightest. Other “R” names were eliminated as well such as Ruth (my mother) and Renee or Rose since they never connected with me as well. For as far back as I can recall I have been Melissa. The first time I ever presented myself fully (head to toe) in my mother’s bedroom as a woman at the age of 14, I looked in her full length mirror and the name sort of came to me …….I saw Melissa ….I whispered “Melissa” back at the reflection. It seemed to come from within me and the name stuck with me always and from that point forward, I knew who I really was but then spent many years trying to drive her out of my shell. She was resilient and she endured much in many years of repression, struggle and secrecy but she hung on and now she has been recognized by the government! Now some people wondered why I did not chose to keep “Pink” as my last name and even today, I know some in our community only know me as Melissa Pink- my persona I operated under for many years in my cloak and secrecy so people would not find out who I am. Although my friend Chloe calls me Melissa Alexander when she tells someone she is coming to visit me, she will say Melissa Alexander and others will say “who” and she says …you know “Melissa Pink”. Now I hope the whole world knows me for whom I truly am and many people I have known over the years know -so a made up name such as” Pink” did not seem appropriate at all.
Alexander is my given last name and it should stay that way. I am proud to be a member of my family and even if all my family is not so thrilled with me transitioning and probably my parents, if alive, would have been not as enthralled with me as Melissa, Alexander is my last name and I will use it proudly. Now the middle name has been something in flux for me for sometime now. I was seriously considering using “Ann” which was associated with Melissa Ann Pink but I did not like the flow of it with Melissa Alexander. I even toyed briefly with the idea of using the initial “P” with my name but I wanted a real name there and not imply a middle initial. I had already gone through life living with one of those already in my first name. (I still remember my daughter when she was young telling her teacher that “my Daddy’s first name is” R.” – said as “R period”) I chose Marie because it was the middle name of my mother, grandmother and great grandmother. It was the middle name given to the girls in my family and had I been born in the proper gender to begin with I found out my mother would have given me Marie as my middle name. So I think it is entirely appropriate that I am named Marie as well!
So there it is…… …..my new legal name ……………Melissa Marie Alexander. I love it so very much! Now my name matches my true identity….the girl I have always been and always will be and I have moved forward in my life. I have much to travel to undergo in my journey. But at least now along my journey I can carry all my documents and such which actually match my true self and my true identity……
Melisa Marie Alexander (2008- )…………….Long live the girl!!!!
R. Russell Alexander (1960-2008)……. Rest in Peace ………Today, the shell got buried!
Pictured above is me taken on the day of my name change hearing. Wooooooohoooooooooooo!!
Many people have asked me how I came to be named Melissa or why I chose Melissa as the name of my true identity. I know many times transgendered girls identify their feminine name by feminizing their given name at birth. For example, Paula feminized Paul; a Tony can become a Tonya or Carl becomes Carla. Others are not able to do so without their name sounding a bit silly so they pick a name that is feminine but it at least begins with the same letter. For example, George becomes Gina or Jim becomes Jane. However, I could only think of one name which would be a feminizing version of my birth name and that was Rochelle but I never connected with that name even in the slightest. Other “R” names were eliminated as well such as Ruth (my mother) and Renee or Rose since they never connected with me as well. For as far back as I can recall I have been Melissa. The first time I ever presented myself fully (head to toe) in my mother’s bedroom as a woman at the age of 14, I looked in her full length mirror and the name sort of came to me …….I saw Melissa ….I whispered “Melissa” back at the reflection. It seemed to come from within me and the name stuck with me always and from that point forward, I knew who I really was but then spent many years trying to drive her out of my shell. She was resilient and she endured much in many years of repression, struggle and secrecy but she hung on and now she has been recognized by the government! Now some people wondered why I did not chose to keep “Pink” as my last name and even today, I know some in our community only know me as Melissa Pink- my persona I operated under for many years in my cloak and secrecy so people would not find out who I am. Although my friend Chloe calls me Melissa Alexander when she tells someone she is coming to visit me, she will say Melissa Alexander and others will say “who” and she says …you know “Melissa Pink”. Now I hope the whole world knows me for whom I truly am and many people I have known over the years know -so a made up name such as” Pink” did not seem appropriate at all.
Alexander is my given last name and it should stay that way. I am proud to be a member of my family and even if all my family is not so thrilled with me transitioning and probably my parents, if alive, would have been not as enthralled with me as Melissa, Alexander is my last name and I will use it proudly. Now the middle name has been something in flux for me for sometime now. I was seriously considering using “Ann” which was associated with Melissa Ann Pink but I did not like the flow of it with Melissa Alexander. I even toyed briefly with the idea of using the initial “P” with my name but I wanted a real name there and not imply a middle initial. I had already gone through life living with one of those already in my first name. (I still remember my daughter when she was young telling her teacher that “my Daddy’s first name is” R.” – said as “R period”) I chose Marie because it was the middle name of my mother, grandmother and great grandmother. It was the middle name given to the girls in my family and had I been born in the proper gender to begin with I found out my mother would have given me Marie as my middle name. So I think it is entirely appropriate that I am named Marie as well!
So there it is…… …..my new legal name ……………Melissa Marie Alexander. I love it so very much! Now my name matches my true identity….the girl I have always been and always will be and I have moved forward in my life. I have much to travel to undergo in my journey. But at least now along my journey I can carry all my documents and such which actually match my true self and my true identity……
Melisa Marie Alexander (2008- )…………….Long live the girl!!!!
R. Russell Alexander (1960-2008)……. Rest in Peace ………Today, the shell got buried!
Pictured above is me taken on the day of my name change hearing. Wooooooohoooooooooooo!!
2 comments:
you are a fucking freak russell. thanks for ruining my breakfast.
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