Have you ever watched an artist take a block of stone and with chisels and hammers he or she is able to carve out a life–like face such as a bust of some President or other famous person? Out of this piece of this stone, the talented artist is able to create something of significance and grace to be viewed by the public. As I sit here in Boston and a couple days away from the FFS procedure that will radically alter my look and make my hard stone-like face into something that is a bit more presentable of a person who now lives their life happily as a woman, I am drawn to think of this analogy. The image of the stone is most appropriate for this lady for many reasons.
When I was back in my college days, which were probably my greatest period of repression of my inner essence and soul in my entire lifetime, I joined a fraternity like many young college males of that period. Fraternities were in a great revival period then following the release of “Animal House” that summer and one nearly got sick of the constant call for Toga parties. Let’s face it, all one needed was plenty of beer and alcohol (bring on the “Purple Jesus”-as the name implies the theory was that if you drank enough of it you would see Jesus) and some bed sheets and plenty of eight tracks (yes I know I am dating myself there) and you had a ready made party! The tradition in the fraternity was that many times you ended up with a nickname just as many of the characters in the movie did like Otter or Pluto. I was one of those fortunate souls who ended up with up one and I did not realize then it would be most appropriate today on the eve of my facial reconstruction. My fraternity nickname was “Stonehead”.
The name fit for many reasons. First, I was bit on the ‘stubborn side” as they say due to my family heritage. (Let’s face it- the Scotch and Germans are not known for their flexibility and a combination of both was indeed a fiery mixture for this young “lad”). Secondly, I was also know for my certain partaking of a substance that resembles oregano and came in baggies and was rolled or stuffed into a pipe. I think you get the drift here. I truly believe that my excessive drinking and partaking of substances during these years was the result of me drowning out the deep dark secret inside of me but that is another story. Finally, the name was also found appropriate one Sunday afternoon during our college fraternity’s intramural football game against our rival. I played middle linebacker on the team and my friend who had been given the name Bonehead played defensive tackle. Again, the rough and tough tumble of the game and the beer drinking that followed it for four years did wonders for covering up my deep dark secret that I hid from the world. On one play, Bonehead and I decided we were going to stick it to the runner from the rival team and we converged on him with full force and vigor. However, he eluded us at the last moment and instead Bonehead and I collided into each other head on and we knocked each other out cold on the field, Hence, the nickname was born in my Freshman year……Stonehead.
Well Stonehead is about to get chiseled by an artist of great skill and stature. Dr. Spiegel is one of the very few in this hemisphere who has perfected an FFS technique that gives femininity to a face especially in the area of contouring of the forehead and brow and my ugly mug is one that cries out for it for sure. I am sure much time will be spent on this area of Stonehead’s reconstruction trying to establish a feminine flow to area that now more closely resembles the young linebacker than the middle aged lady for sure. He plans to bring out my eyes which are one of the few nice features on my face. The extensive work on the brow and forehead also necessitates the reworking of my nose to fit my new brow and forehead. The work on the lower part of the face is not quite as extensive although the lipo on the neck and the mandible jaw contouring are some of the more difficult and painful procedures in this process. The final work will be augmenting and lifting my lips to give them a more feminine look.
All of this extensive work will be done while I am under anesthesia for the first time in my life. I was told I will drift off into sleep and it will seem like that I barely remember closing my eyes and drifting into lala land when I will find myself awaking in the recovery room looking more closely like Frankenstein’s monster than Melissa. For days I will drift in and out of sleep and crying out in a weak pathetic voice that my “nurse maid” Paula either get me more drugs or shoot me- based primarily I guess on whether the gun or the painkillers are closer for her! I will be bruised, swollen, battered, discolored, patched with stitches, wrapped and bound and withering in pain. I know I will test my love’s patience and let’s hope she forgets to pack any gun! Hopefully, some days later, things will calm down some and I will not look quite as bad and more like someone recovering from an attack with a Louisville Slugger than monster. In time, the stitches will be removed and through applications of creams and jells and much ice, I will be able to walk around in public and not scare people. Maybe a few weeks more and with some makeup I will take the form of average middle aged lady instead of Stonehead!
About the time I really getting it to look half way presentable it will be time to start preparing for another trip to another artist surgeon to reconstruct the other end of my body to conform with my inner soul and true essence as a female. Just as I get handle on this process and recovery it will be time for the finishing touch in augmenting my breasts to fit my body and the process completed physically. The spirit and the body will be one-but my journey will just begin again! I knew that the first six to seven months of the year would be a great physical challenge to me and I have been preparing my body for the same. The second half of the year and life beyond as Melissa will be as equaling challenging for me-but from a mental standpoint. I sometimes wonder and I think I am convinced that this test will be even more difficult than the physical changes to occur in the months ahead. I have some time to contemplate such in these recoveries and that is for sure. Get the chisels ready doctor ……….…Stonehead is about to arrive on your operating table and you have your work cut out for sure on this project! I will most definitely test your artistic abilities!!!
When I was back in my college days, which were probably my greatest period of repression of my inner essence and soul in my entire lifetime, I joined a fraternity like many young college males of that period. Fraternities were in a great revival period then following the release of “Animal House” that summer and one nearly got sick of the constant call for Toga parties. Let’s face it, all one needed was plenty of beer and alcohol (bring on the “Purple Jesus”-as the name implies the theory was that if you drank enough of it you would see Jesus) and some bed sheets and plenty of eight tracks (yes I know I am dating myself there) and you had a ready made party! The tradition in the fraternity was that many times you ended up with a nickname just as many of the characters in the movie did like Otter or Pluto. I was one of those fortunate souls who ended up with up one and I did not realize then it would be most appropriate today on the eve of my facial reconstruction. My fraternity nickname was “Stonehead”.
The name fit for many reasons. First, I was bit on the ‘stubborn side” as they say due to my family heritage. (Let’s face it- the Scotch and Germans are not known for their flexibility and a combination of both was indeed a fiery mixture for this young “lad”). Secondly, I was also know for my certain partaking of a substance that resembles oregano and came in baggies and was rolled or stuffed into a pipe. I think you get the drift here. I truly believe that my excessive drinking and partaking of substances during these years was the result of me drowning out the deep dark secret inside of me but that is another story. Finally, the name was also found appropriate one Sunday afternoon during our college fraternity’s intramural football game against our rival. I played middle linebacker on the team and my friend who had been given the name Bonehead played defensive tackle. Again, the rough and tough tumble of the game and the beer drinking that followed it for four years did wonders for covering up my deep dark secret that I hid from the world. On one play, Bonehead and I decided we were going to stick it to the runner from the rival team and we converged on him with full force and vigor. However, he eluded us at the last moment and instead Bonehead and I collided into each other head on and we knocked each other out cold on the field, Hence, the nickname was born in my Freshman year……Stonehead.
Well Stonehead is about to get chiseled by an artist of great skill and stature. Dr. Spiegel is one of the very few in this hemisphere who has perfected an FFS technique that gives femininity to a face especially in the area of contouring of the forehead and brow and my ugly mug is one that cries out for it for sure. I am sure much time will be spent on this area of Stonehead’s reconstruction trying to establish a feminine flow to area that now more closely resembles the young linebacker than the middle aged lady for sure. He plans to bring out my eyes which are one of the few nice features on my face. The extensive work on the brow and forehead also necessitates the reworking of my nose to fit my new brow and forehead. The work on the lower part of the face is not quite as extensive although the lipo on the neck and the mandible jaw contouring are some of the more difficult and painful procedures in this process. The final work will be augmenting and lifting my lips to give them a more feminine look.
All of this extensive work will be done while I am under anesthesia for the first time in my life. I was told I will drift off into sleep and it will seem like that I barely remember closing my eyes and drifting into lala land when I will find myself awaking in the recovery room looking more closely like Frankenstein’s monster than Melissa. For days I will drift in and out of sleep and crying out in a weak pathetic voice that my “nurse maid” Paula either get me more drugs or shoot me- based primarily I guess on whether the gun or the painkillers are closer for her! I will be bruised, swollen, battered, discolored, patched with stitches, wrapped and bound and withering in pain. I know I will test my love’s patience and let’s hope she forgets to pack any gun! Hopefully, some days later, things will calm down some and I will not look quite as bad and more like someone recovering from an attack with a Louisville Slugger than monster. In time, the stitches will be removed and through applications of creams and jells and much ice, I will be able to walk around in public and not scare people. Maybe a few weeks more and with some makeup I will take the form of average middle aged lady instead of Stonehead!
About the time I really getting it to look half way presentable it will be time to start preparing for another trip to another artist surgeon to reconstruct the other end of my body to conform with my inner soul and true essence as a female. Just as I get handle on this process and recovery it will be time for the finishing touch in augmenting my breasts to fit my body and the process completed physically. The spirit and the body will be one-but my journey will just begin again! I knew that the first six to seven months of the year would be a great physical challenge to me and I have been preparing my body for the same. The second half of the year and life beyond as Melissa will be as equaling challenging for me-but from a mental standpoint. I sometimes wonder and I think I am convinced that this test will be even more difficult than the physical changes to occur in the months ahead. I have some time to contemplate such in these recoveries and that is for sure. Get the chisels ready doctor ……….…Stonehead is about to arrive on your operating table and you have your work cut out for sure on this project! I will most definitely test your artistic abilities!!!
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