Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Confidence is the Key


Does anyone feel this country is not in a deep recession? Jobless rates continue to rise and the economy is stalled. Houses are not being built, bought or sold and the stock market has devastated many investments and retirement accounts. Large financial institutions are in serious crises and some of the remaining few manufacturing industries in this land such as our automobile industry are on the verge of collapse. My friends we have definitely seen better times for our beleaguered county. Even the world economy is suffering. This recent economic disaster is one that has been a long time coming for sure! Look at our economy over the last forty years. We don’t really make anything in this country anymore and we have not done so for a while. There was a time when we made almost everything-electronics, appliances, cars, shoes, clothes and even most of our food products. Take a look at your groceries sometime. Many come from other parts of the world. We import almost every item that was once made here in this country. We are told we have become a “service Industry” economy but if no one makes anything here how much service type jobs can you really have in your society.
Another major problem is huge debt. Consumer debt is rampant and many people are tied into credit card and loan debts that foreclose opportunities to use the money elsewhere- thus adding to the problem! We have little money to invest and save and when we do the earnings if there are any are taxed by a government that spends way beyond its limits instead of using that money to create jobs, retain jobs and stimulate our economy. Financial institutions are no better off and Congress is throwing money at them in order to starve off disasters of collapses which will only serve to weaken our economy even further and drive our deep recession into a depression. The greed and corruption of many business and their decisions to exploit impoverish foreign workers by taking their production offshore has crippled this county and its fragile economy.

However, you know what the major factor that drives our economy as has done so for many years? It is what really keeps it going although the points I raised above have clearly caused the problems we face today in our society. Our economy, its currency and the growth of economy through jobs, production, housing starts and the like essentially are driven by one major factor- confidence! The people have lost faith in their country, business, the government and our economy and even our money. The loss of confidence leads to further erosion of the strength of economy on top of the issues I discussed above. The economy would pick up and recover merely by the people having more faith and confidence in it and believe that things will get better and that we can get ourselves righted. However, it is hard to have faith in our economy and system when everything looks so bleak and fear captures us from all that we see around us.
Sometimes I like to think it is like the old adage of the chicken or the egg- which came first? We are expected to stimulate the economy by having confidence in ourselves and our economy yet there is little going on now to give us that confidence to take the first step in doing so and yet without such confidence we cannot begin to recover, we cannot begin to find answers, save our institutions, redefine our government’s thinking on building a stronger economic base and gain more confidence to further steer our country and its economy out of a path of destruction. We are expected to have blind faith and take the first steps to show confidence without much around us to support us. In reality we have nothing but faith to rely on to show that our confidence will be rewarded. Our currency really runs on blind faith. We went off the gold standard ions ago and in reality the value of the dollar has more to do with how much we believe it is worth than anything else. Confidence in our monetary system is what really drives the system and yet it still has value. Somehow, we must harness that same concept for our economy as well. If we have no faith that our economy can recover and rebuild and in our government and institutions, investments or even in ourselves then how can be expected to ever find solutions to the problems that confront us and starve off total collapse of our economy and our country and in turn ourselves. The question is who will take this first step. It must be our political and corporate leaders who must learn that politics and practices as usual will not be acceptable any longer to solving these deep economic problems and restoring our confidence in our systems and in our economy and ultimately in ourselves.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Family Ties and Faith (Dec 07)

Welcome to the New Year my friends and I thought I would start off 2008 with a fresh look at problem for many in the transgendered community- our families. I have read and listened with great interest to the struggles of many in our community in dealing with their families and family issues. I am not talking in particular about spouses since I addressed that issue back in a blog in the spring of 2008 but instead focus on parents, children and siblings who may discover or be told that their son or daughter or brother or sister or mother or father are transgendered and the need of the transgendered person to continue those bonds and spend time with their families. Now I know there are some that few family members around and they may not be on point with this discussion but for the vast majority of transgendered people this is a real and complex issue!

Several recent posts from some of my friends such as Glenda and Chloe, my telephone chats with my friend Debbie in VA and my attendance and participation in my transgender support group meetings where the issue has been raised and discussed has me doing a lot of soul searching myself on this very issue. I feel their anguish and their joy as well as their frustration and sadness in confronting this issue. Debbie has been making great strides in reconnecting to her siblings and in-laws in recent months as she moves toward her SRS and life as Debbie. It has not been easy for her but she has persevered and found some happiness and success in her efforts. As for Chloe, I know she loves her children dearly and I feel her anguish as she is pushed further away from them with her transition and her other family members have already continued their outward hostility toward her new life as Chloe which has been consistent since her journey began. Glenda talked about her continued commitment to her children and how she has sought to find balance in her life in her expression of Glenda and the time she spends with her children as she knows they still need her as their father. My friend DeeDee Casto is another case however where anguish and hostility has prevailed in her life. She had a particular troubling time over the recent holidays where she received no visits from her daughter despite the fact DeeDee cannot drive herself due to physical problems. She received no card for her birthday or Christmas from her daughter. All she received was deafening silence and an e-mail from her last Tuesday before our group meeting I pick her up and drive her to in which her daughter says she abandoned her family by living life as DeeDee even though she only seeks to live it as she meant to live it all her life. It like all the previous years meant nothing. Her daughter even chastised her for having the nerve to have foundation makeup on when she came over before Thanksgiving to assist DeeDee with her sick cat. The e-mail was quite painful as I watched her read in the car before we went into the meeting and tears streamed down her face. When we went into the meeting I heard two other stories of transgendered girls who came out to the family over the holidays. One was very fortunate in that her parents told her they still loved her and that they always kind of knew. They welcomed her and told her she would always be welcome in their home. Her father even sent her a birthday card the other week addressed to his daughter! The other was not as fortunate as they attempted to discuss this matter with the brother of the spouse of the transgendered girl and her spouse’s brother balked and refused to even see her and told her she was not welcome in his home. Obviously, her wife was hurt that her brother who she was so close to would react that way. I saw the tears swell up in her eyes as she related the events of the past weeks and the pain resonated into me. Two mothers came to the group –one with her trans daughter and one with her trans son and both showed me great courage and ove and support for their children and who they were meant to be I was captivated by their stories and love for their children! Interestingly, another younger transgendered girl spoke up about the question she was asked in college class about if she could go back in time and change anything what would it be (obviously she would like to change her chromosomes) but yet another transgendered girl spoke up and said that sometimes we al think that would be great but then we would have never had the children we did in life and we would have missed out in so much if they had never been born and lived as part of our lives!

I have spent several restless nights myself over the last few weeks as the holidays and time spent more with family and hearing and reading all these different accounts and stories has me wondering what is in store for Melissa in the future with my family. My parents are deceased so there is nothing to resolve there and just before I was abut to tell my bother, and I think he would have been ok with it really, he was killed in a freak and tragic accident. So all that remains, besides in-laws which can either take it or leave it as far as I am concerned, are my two children. I love them dearly and I have tried to be a good father to them giving them love and guidance and I spent many hours with them when they were younger supporting their activities and being there if they needed me. I am still there for them today even though one is about to embark on her own career and another gets ready to head off to college. The older one knows but not a real in depth understanding and the younger is not ready to handle it yet so he has not been told. In time, both will need to know a lot more about Melissa as I continue my journey and I so wonder how each will react. What will be my story to tell? It is painful enough to work through issues of evolving into the person who were all your life but hid away for so long because of fear and confusion you thought you could mask in a shell covering but having lost my parents and brother to death I shutter to think losing connection with my children just because I am Melissa and need to express her. I only hope that my children will see the sacrifices I made for them for so long including hiding all this away from them and others so that they could grow up without all the issues that go with having a transgendered parent in a community where everyone knows everyone and nearly everything they do! Will they remember the hours I spent with them, the places I took them to see, the guidance I offered and the love I have for them and embrace me for who I really am.? If so, will they now make a few sacrifices for me and continue my involvement in their life as their parent despite being transgendered and living increasingly more as Melissa who I was really meant to be? As I write this blog, tears have streamed down my face but I know I must have faith and hope in their love-for sometimes faith and hope is all we have in this world!

I again wish all of you peace and joy and happiness and love in the New Year!