Cruising before Barack

As I mentioned I also recently got back from a Caribbean cruise sponsored by Pink Essence in which forty people form our community went on and we all had a great time indeed. Who wouldn’t on a cruise?? We met in Miami on Wednesday and it was also my first time flying as Melissa but since my Id and picture now match my name on my ticket and how I live it was no brainer and I sailed through TSA security. We all dined together Wednesday night at the hotel and this of course began the five days of food frenzy that takes place on a cruise ship which has food available twenty-four seven including buffets, diners, sit down lunches, pizzerias and burger joints and every possible food group including a Chocoholics feast. It seems like I Cruising the Caribbean and Barack Obama………what do these two things have in common? Well not much I would say except that my recent days have been spent cruising for the first time as Melissa with many wonderful friends or voting for our new President for the first time being who I really am as a person. I had fun with both as the cruise was fabulous and so was the outcome of the election with the selection of this country’s first non white President on an historic night that hopefully will bring about change for our country. This country has been lingering in malaise for some time now without leadership. I don’t care whether you liked his policies or not but what bugged me the most about George Bush was his lack of leadership over the last few years and his failure to respond to pressing economic needs and his continuation of fighting a war in a place we don’t understand, and are not wanted, all while spending tons of money which could have been easily directed elsewhere in our own country. George needed to do something as the leader of our nation and he did not do so. He simply coasted the last couple years and enjoyed being President without doing anything as a leader. He was slow to respond to crises which arose over last few years and really has not shown leadership since 2002 after the 911 situation. I may not like what he proposed to do but doing nothing is not an option for a leader of our country in the 21st century.

I feel the main reason McCain lost was most people were fed up with George and his lack of doing anything and that the country needed new energy and change which Barrack would bring. It’s that simple.
Curiously, I noticed the south still has trouble with voting for black person. Let me say this as a southerner who has only been recently transplanted
to being a Yankee- the war between the states is over! While I still enjoy southern hospitality, sweet tea and grits, southerners need to embrace change in this country and get over the racism, hatred and prejudice and move forward in their lives. I also noted that the fact that my old state West Virginia voted for McCain despite being a state with Dems outnumbering the Elephants two to one. Two reasons why this happened folks……racism among rural Appalachian people and religious right wing fundamentalists who make up the composition of state of my family heritage. I am also very hopeful that with the gain in seats in Congress and our new President that next year will bring about the enactment of the Hate Crimes bill and ENDA and end discrimination (with enforcement) against the LGBT communities of which I am very much proudly a part of indeed!
was eating about every few hours. Additionally, my lovely sign and sail card took a good beating from all the delightful frozen concoctions I consumed during the cruise as the drinking seemed to start each day around 11 am and ended in the wee hours of the morning!

I knew several girls on the cruise such as Debbie, Carol, Jackie, Tara Brandy, Martina and Joan and of course my roomie for the cruise – my good friend Joann. Joann brought three bikinis by the way and modeled a different suit each day at the pool. I also met some wonderful new friends like Rachel and Jan as well as Leslie Ann. I additionally met a lovely girl named Amy who is transitioning, looking at the same surgeons I am and who started on hormones one day before me last January. We chatted for sometime and she and her spouse are really wonderful girls! I enjoyed the ports of call at Key West and Cozumel and did some shopping for jewelry, ornaments and other items. I will admit cruising is not a hard life and I love do it- but this time it was special. We got some looks from others and few were rude but most were neutral and a few took the time to meet us and ask questions and some admired our courage to live and enjoy life as who we are as people. I especially enjoyed chatting with a woman by the name of Jane who lives in Maryland and we spent hours talking and she was curious but very supportive and she hugged me and even gave me gift of one of her pieces of jewelry and told me to be myself, be happy and live life to its fullest! What a wonderful human being and I wish her so much peace and happiness. If more people in the world were like my new friend Jane the world would indeed be a better place! Like all good things the cruise came to end too soon but I loved being with tables of my sisters from all over the US and relaxing a bit…….now if I can just work off all that cheesecake, tiramisu and a delightful decadent dish called Chocolate Melting Cake I might be able to actually fit my clothes again!!!

Where Everyone Knows My Name!

Do you remember the time in elementary school that if you did not like someone in your class you did not say their name and tried to pretend like they did not exist. Well lately I feel I have been thrown back to the second grade and it largely comes at the action and inactions of my soon to be ex wife. My wife sends me some of my old mail as I continue the process of redirecting mail to my new home in Ohio. When she does send anything, it comes in an envelope marked only by my last name and she does not write the word “ Melissa” on it even though that is my name both spiritually as well as legally. How hard would be to write those letters on an envelope and mail it? I guess for her ….pretty damn hard! I write to her to find out things such whether I received something in the mail or to find out how she is doing or how our kids are doing since they have no contact with me at all. I sometimes try to discuss my emotions and feelings and anguish and such with her and I always write her addressing her by her first name and sign off by giving mine. I get no answers to my questions. I receive no response to my queries and usually it is either a one sentence response or a blistering tirade of screaming and ALL CAPS and underlines and exclamation points!!!! Nowhere in any of my communication from her is my name used at all- like I don’t have one…….it just is either short and nonresponsive or a flaming tirade to some unknown entity. I have a name you know and it is customary for one to write you to use it as I think we covered this in letter structure concept back in junior high school.

I have done everything I can to keep the peace on the name thing such as informing the organizations of my new address and such but sometimes they don’t read (guess it is not a requirement for employment) and send the documents to my old address where my wife still resides and then all hell breaks loose as she sees the name of Melissa on something and goes into another tirade. She is mad because I changed my life insurance documents to reflect my new legal name and does not see how this should be allowed to happen since her name is listed as beneficiary or owner of them. Well here is how it works. Those I own have my old name on them so I changed it to reflect new name even though she is listed as beneficiary (a matter which will soon be corrected believe me ) or they are policies she owns but I am named beneficiary and my name was changed to new name. She is also free to kick me off her policies as well and name a new one as it is a free country. However, this could present a dilemma in as much as she will have to write them and tell them she wishes to drop “Melissa” off the policies as named beneficiaries and that means she will have to write the word “Melissa” on a letter.

Earlier this month she held my new social security card with my new name on it because she was made it came to her due to the clerk’s error. My inability to get this document caused me to be unable to verify it to the bank and they locked down my accounts. Then she goes into a tirade about the fact she cannot cash a check I sent her on my account even though the very reason she could not do so is because of her not sending me the document. I tried to my best to direct documents to my new address but some of the companies did not do so and common courtesy is to send them on in envelope addressed to the person. I got another tirade from her about the name change itself as if I had to somehow secure her permission or that of my adult children to change my legal name to reflect who I truly am and how I live my life. I again make reference to the statement above that this is still a free country and one has a right to change their name so long as it is not done for illegal purposes.

Now for her latest antics she is having her lawyer object to the temporary order which my lawyer prepared at the request of the Judge following the temporary hearing. Most people object to court orders based on the contents of the order itself (you know the meat and potatoes of the order discussing terms and monies and such) but not my wife. She is objecting to the caption on the order itself which reads her name as petitioner versus my old name as respondent and placed in parenthesis afterward are the words (now known as Melissa Marie Alexander) which of course, is the truth. I did not ask my counsel to do this but she tells me that it is common for wives who resume their maiden names to have this listed in parenthesis so she saw no difference simply because I legally changed my name as part of my transition and life fulltime as Melissa as a transgendered person. So here we go spending money on lawyers to litigate over the caption on an order to a case. You talk about throwing money down the drain- this, my friends, is clearly the definition of such frivolity.


I hope someday my wife can let go of the hate and anger and we can become friends so we can work together on such things as our beautiful children who I never see or hear from ever. I begged her to seek counseling and get her feelings out on the table and try to move forward. I offered her the opportunity to come to support group or that I would find resources for her to join such as groups of families of transgendered people so she can share and vent and find ways to heal. However, for us to move forward and begin talking again as people like we did the one week in July when all this came out in the full blown open and to communicate about our children, it will take her making the step to address me by my name – Melissa. We cannot move forward unless we get past the second grade antics and junior high English and she addresses me by my true name as well as my legal one- Melissa. What I think changed after that time in July was she got around family and friends who told her she must fight this and despise me because they cannot deal with transgendered issues and believe people like me should be condemned and fought at every turn and not even afforded even the dignity of our name. I hope someday we can move forward and I hope someday she finds great peace and happiness in her life- but clearly this will take much time and the road we have to travel is long and far. We are stuck at a point on that road where she cannot read, write or say the road sign on it that reads “Melissa” We are stuck at a point where everyone knows my name but her. We cannot take steps to move forward without first recognizing who we are as people that is for sure……..

Saugatucking

The Dunes and the Saugatuck Michigan area were descended upon by many of the transgendered community these past few days for its annual Saugatuck/ Dunes weekend. For the first time ever I attended this relaxing long weekend of shopping, sightseeing, dining, wine tasting and apple picking or whatever you wanted to do on a gorgeous and beautiful fall weekend on the shores of Lake Michigan! The Dunes weekend is something my girlfriend Paula has attended for many years and this year she had me join her for the wonderful festivities. The Dunes weekend, in the quaint villages of Saugatuck and Douglas Michigan, is different than many other transgendered “events” in that it is really not and event as it is a gathering. There are no seminars or workshops like that of SCC or the Be-all and there are no formal structured social activities like tours or such as with the Erie Gala or others but instead one is free to do whatever they want to do and relax in the gorgeous scenery of the lake shore villages. The lovely towns are loaded with little shops for art works book stores, jewelry and clothing boutiques. One can stroll around the little streets for hours moseying into one shop after another looking for deals and such. No chain stores here my friends!! As with my tradition, I collected a Christmas ornament from Saugatuck as I do every place I go.(At Christmastime, I decorate a tree with ornaments I have collected from all over the US, Canada and other parts of the world on my travels). I found some other little odds and ends as well.
The weather was gorgeous for a weekend in October. Sunny skies prevailed all weekend long which actually began Thursday night with arrival and visit to the Dunes complex which is a hotel with cabins and rooms adjacent to the club and bar which has dance floor, bar area, recreation room for pool and such and a cabaret room for shows. This year featured a visit from a duo of a beautiful singer with a great sense of humor and a musical range of extensive quality and her partner the piano player. I enjoyed the production immensely as did Paula and all who attended. Thursday night I karaoke and I again confirmed my lack of musical talent and Friday night is a big dance night although I played a few rounds of pool winning absolutely none of course. I play pool as badly as I sing but its all in fun! During the shops fill with people including many from our beautiful community and evenings and morning provide wonderful opportunities to sample some good and inexpensive cuisine. I loved the food everywhere I went to eat over the long weekend. The beautiful weather also provided opportunities for site seeing such places as the Lake shore, wineries where I sampled some good Michigan wines and bought a few for the holidays. You can go apple orchard picking or raspberry picking or view the colorful skylines on the highways around the area as fall puts it spectacular colors into play! Paula and I also went to a place that had standing lines to get in to eat at 2:00 in the afternoon and a long line to buy a homemade pie and we bought one from Crane’s Pie Pantry. It was a very delicious pumpkin pie and I absolutely crave pumpkin pies in the fall! The weekend was relaxing and very enjoyable although not without glitches. I went off without my makeup or toiletries but through a few lending sisters, Paula’s pills and a visit to Rite Aid Pharmacy, I recovered and survived. Paula had key trouble. The first night she forgot the key to the room and we had to wake the owner up at 2:00 am to get us another key to get in the room. Needless to say, he was not a happy camper. On Friday night Paula left the key in our door all night but not only is the area very LGBT friendly it is also safe and no harm was done. The glitches were minor and it was a indeed a wonderful weekend and chance to see some old friends like Wendy, Mandie, Erica, Janie and Jennifer and meet some new friends as well. I highly recommend a visit to Saugatuck and the Dunes if you get the chance in late spring, summer or early fall. The winter however, is not for the fainthearted with massive snowfalls and lakefront winds. You will not be disappointed otherwise and will enjoy some friendly hospitality. Now if those Yankees could actually make some good grits for this southern girl they would have it made indeed!

Fall, Football and Being Yourself

The beautiful sunny fall weekend with blue skies and bright sun provided yet another opportunity for me to do something “a bit challenging” for my current life as Melissa. I attended my homecoming festivities and first college football game as Melissa this past weekend at my alma mater- West Virginia University. The setting was perfect and the weather as delightful as one could expect for a fall October weekend. Paula and ventured over to Morgantown for the festivities with the assurance she would root for my alma in the battle with the Syracuse Orange despite her fixation with Big Ten and her alma mater Michigan State. I needed her support as well since I would be sitting in the same seats I have sat in for 19 years with a crowd of many who have set there for 19 years with me in that other mode I paraded around in until a few months ago.
We left Friday morning early as we were both scheduled for a round of electrolysis with my technician and friend Sharon. Paula will start using her when she moves down here fulltime at beginning of next month. She truly enjoyed meeting her and Sharon is a sweet kind wonderful person and electrolysis tech who works very hard and dos a superb job painfully removing the hair follicles from my face. From there we stopped and ate a Sonic and it was my first time eating there ever at a place Paula has a fondness for and the burger was delicious! We checked in our hotel and freshened up before heading into downtown Morgantown to watch the Homecoming parade. I always loved this event. This year the fraternities and sororities made floats depicting various countries and I love watching the alumni band march and perform and some of those guys carrying tubas and drums had a few years on them and the majorettes probably should not have been wearing the skirts at their ages but what they have they displayed proudly indeed. The current Mountaineer band is one of the largest and best performing college bands in America. I was particularly impressed with the fact that the LGBTQ college students marched in the parade with great pride and that is something I never saw in college there or until recent years to be honest. I was proud of them and Paula and I were among only handful that clapped for the group. It’s still progress. Following the parade, we proceeded to my favorite restaurant in Morgantown-Oliverios. If you ever find yourself there I highly recommend it! The food is phenomenal and some of the best Italian you can find for the very reasonable prices. However, the visit did result in an “incident which left a sour taste in my mouth for sure. We were waiting for out table by the bar when a “good friend” who has known me for twenty years and whose children were watched by my daughter and who I worked with came in to dine and saw me. She panicked and after making a few glances my way looked away and hid her head with her hand as she sat. When her husband arrived (who has known and worked with me for 23 years) a few minutes later they left to eat elsewhere just as our table was called. I am sorry they acted that way I really am. I will go anywhere I want to go and I am not ashamed of whom I am as a person but I was disappointed they acted that way. I was disappointed with their actions and I thought they were friends but I guess that was only when I was pretending to be someone I was not! I will miss them as friends but their actions spoke loud and clear to me. I am not someone to be ashamed of at all. I love who I am and I will never be ashamed for being Melissa. It is silly to be ashamed of who you are as a human being.
Saturday morning following breakfast we proceeded to the stadium for the noon kickoff. It was a beautiful sunny day and I guided us to my entrance on the east side of the stadium which is the same entrance the students enter on and I saw my son who did not see me. He is not ready to do so either so I stayed in the shadows of people until safely passed. It was so hard to do and I wanted to go over and hug him but I did not want to embarrass him and he is not even close to being ready. He looks so different from just a few months ago and I wonder how much of his life I will miss until we can reconnect again. Paula and I headed to my seats I have sat in for so very long. She kept saying I could leave now if I was not up to this task. I assured I was ready and confident although I had my doubts from time to time this past week. I mean the people who attend Mountaineer games are fanatical, usually heavily intoxicated from tailgating and lest face it – WV has a tendency to be bit redneck. I watched the pregame festivities and run onto the field and enjoyed watching my team I love play but it was a also different. I was calmer than I have ever been and while I cheered for them, I did not boo like many other’s did when the team played sluggishly and I did not get so wrapped up in it as well. It was fun and I enjoyed it as Melissa. The Eeers won this one (whoooooo hoooooooo) and no one said a word to me, either out of fear or they did not recognize me or they were occupied with the activity on the field. Whatever the reason I enjoyed doing something I always enjoyed doing but this time as who I truly am– Melissa. It’s a better and calmer way to enjoy the game and fun as well. A great day in the sunshine on a beautiful fall day and I look forward to my return in the future.

Fulltime Conferencing

Life at a transgendered conference is surely different for a full time girl! This week, following a road trip to Atlanta with Paula and Tara, I attended Southern Comfort Conference, the largest transgendered conference in the world. 844 people attended SCC this year and although down from last year’s 982 it was a great showing of transgendered people in a tough economy. The conference is a wonderful time to see old friends and make some new one which I did both o for sure. It was great to see old friends like Linda, Jia and Danielle as well as some regulars from the area like Barbie, Jenni, Lana and Chloe. I met some wonderful new people like Karen, Raquel and Cheryl as well as a very cool couple from Nova Scotia Canada in Emma and Jen. Jen was the first transwoman to transition in Nova Scotia and she and Emma did a wonderful workshop on post transitional issues which was extremely thought provoking.
The site of the SCC provides an excellent source of shopping and dinning experiences and I took full advantage of them- finding both great deals on clothes (a business suit for fewer than fifty bucks and a business jacket to accessorize some slacks and skirts for my professional activities). I also found some very pretty jewelry. Paula and I dined with Cheryl and her wife Beth one evening and I am sure she found our conversation intriguing to say the least. I attended some wonderful workshops on areas that are now my focus. In years past it was topics such as transition, hormones, electrolysis and coming out to others. Those have already happened for me and now the focus is on completing my anatomical changes to bring my body in line with my inner soul and essence. I attended several workshops on GRS and FFS and met with several surgeons on consults for these procedures coming up in 2009. Based on them and on my extensive research for many months and interviews with former patients, I made decision on both the procedures and plan to have FFS with Dr. Spiegel in Boston Mass and GRS with Dr. Christine McGinn in Doylestown Penn. Hopefully, if all goes well I will have had these procedures all completed by the middle of 2009 and following recovery continue to move forward in my life.
SCC also provided its second annual Career Fair and I submitted resumes and talked with various employers about possibilities and opportunities in their companies. I plan to submit more resumes online as well and I am also seriously exploring a partnership with a local transgendered girl and meanwhile working some freelance projects in the area. It will take some time to get it all sorted out but it will come and I will succeed and move forward in my life professionally as well. Now the SCC is also fun for evening socializing and I took full advantage of the same. There is a very friendly and cool club in the beltway called Le Buzz which providing some good fun for all!! I believe one of my highlights of this conference was the ability to attend workshops conducted by two of my favorite authors of the transgendered community in Donna Rose and Jenny Boylan- the authors of two of my favorite memoirs of transgendered people “Wrapped in Blue” and “She’s Not There” I had the time to chat with both and Donna delivered a very stirring and powerful address to the convention on Saturday afternoon of courage and conviction. I got both of them to sign my books with a personal note and I will treasure those meetings and I look forward to meeting them in the future as well.
The big difference for me at this SCC is that when I left I departed as who I am and in the manner I live my life everyday. I saw the sadness in many faces of “men” as they were leaving the hotel after living their dreams for a few days and nights. In the elevator I heard one of the boi mode attendees turn and say to another “ Well I guess it is time to return to reality” I kind of chuckled and chimed in….well for some of us this is reality. Today I continue living my life fulltime as Melissa and enjoying life as much as I can with passion and conviction and a sense of opportunity and contentment I have not felt in years. It is truly different experience and I am embracing it as well as I can and enjoying it all. I am more peaceful than I have ever been in my life and I know this is the right path for me. Find your peace whatever and wherever that may be on the spectrum that encompasses our community and live it and enjoy it! Hugs to all my friends in our broad and loving transgendered community!

Melissa Marie Alexander!!!!!

“Russ I have known you for a very long time, and you know what you ask me to do is permanent, are you absolutely sure you want this? ( Judge O’Hanlon on last question from bench to me at hearing) …….Yes your honor, I very much want this Sir (me)……Ok… your petition is GRANTED and here are your certified copies of the order (Judge O’Hanlon)……. “With these simple words Judge Dan O’Hanlon executed my Court Order in the Circuit Court of Cabell County West Virginia and granted my long sought desire to have the government officially recognize me for who I always have been and to begin to bring me peace in my life as I live fulltime as Melissa. With that order, my life can begin anew as Melissa Marie Alexander. I can move forward with the knowledge that my identification now reflects who I always have been despite my old shell’s best attempt to hide her away for so long. I had the biggest smile on my face I have ever had in so long in a courtroom and I thought some of my sisters who came to witness it were going to have to peal me off the ceiling of the hallway as I exited the courtroom following hugs of joy and much happiness!! Paula even got a picture of me outside the Courthouse with my order to mark the occasion. I did not have much time to dawdle though as I quickly sped off to Social Security Administration for a new Social Security Card and to DMV for a new driver’s license. Only this time….the picture and name now reflect who I truly am and really always have been! I will freely admit I pulled it out a few times that day just to look at it in order to make sure I was not dreaming!! When the waitress asked us for ID last night at our celebration party I whip my new ID out so fast I nearly tore the plastic off it…I dropped off my passport application in the mail to get my new passport as Melissa as I proceeded about the day. I don’t think I could have been any higher than I was that day. September 26, 2008…….Melissa Marie Alexander becomes recognized by the government as real person. I am so very excited and so very happy!! I mailed off letters with certified copies to my creditors so they too can share my joy (actually so they can find me and my credit cards and accounts will have my proper name and address.)

Many people have asked me how I came to be named Melissa or why I chose Melissa as the name of my true identity. I know many times transgendered girls identify their feminine name by feminizing their given name at birth. For example, Paula feminized Paul; a Tony can become a Tonya or Carl becomes Carla. Others are not able to do so without their name sounding a bit silly so they pick a name that is feminine but it at least begins with the same letter. For example, George becomes Gina or Jim becomes Jane. However, I could only think of one name which would be a feminizing version of my birth name and that was Rochelle but I never connected with that name even in the slightest. Other “R” names were eliminated as well such as Ruth (my mother) and Renee or Rose since they never connected with me as well. For as far back as I can recall I have been Melissa. The first time I ever presented myself fully (head to toe) in my mother’s bedroom as a woman at the age of 14, I looked in her full length mirror and the name sort of came to me …….I saw Melissa ….I whispered “Melissa” back at the reflection. It seemed to come from within me and the name stuck with me always and from that point forward, I knew who I really was but then spent many years trying to drive her out of my shell. She was resilient and she endured much in many years of repression, struggle and secrecy but she hung on and now she has been recognized by the government! Now some people wondered why I did not chose to keep “Pink” as my last name and even today, I know some in our community only know me as Melissa Pink- my persona I operated under for many years in my cloak and secrecy so people would not find out who I am. Although my friend Chloe calls me Melissa Alexander when she tells someone she is coming to visit me, she will say Melissa Alexander and others will say “who” and she says …you know “Melissa Pink”. Now I hope the whole world knows me for whom I truly am and many people I have known over the years know -so a made up name such as” Pink” did not seem appropriate at all.

Alexander is my given last name and it should stay that way. I am proud to be a member of my family and even if all my family is not so thrilled with me transitioning and probably my parents, if alive, would have been not as enthralled with me as Melissa, Alexander is my last name and I will use it proudly. Now the middle name has been something in flux for me for sometime now. I was seriously considering using “Ann” which was associated with Melissa Ann Pink but I did not like the flow of it with Melissa Alexander. I even toyed briefly with the idea of using the initial “P” with my name but I wanted a real name there and not imply a middle initial. I had already gone through life living with one of those already in my first name. (I still remember my daughter when she was young telling her teacher that “my Daddy’s first name is” R.” – said as “R period”) I chose Marie because it was the middle name of my mother, grandmother and great grandmother. It was the middle name given to the girls in my family and had I been born in the proper gender to begin with I found out my mother would have given me Marie as my middle name. So I think it is entirely appropriate that I am named Marie as well!

So there it is…… …..my new legal name ……………Melissa Marie Alexander. I love it so very much! Now my name matches my true identity….the girl I have always been and always will be and I have moved forward in my life. I have much to travel to undergo in my journey. But at least now along my journey I can carry all my documents and such which actually match my true self and my true identity……

Melisa Marie Alexander (2008- )…………….Long live the girl!!!!

R. Russell Alexander (1960-2008)……. Rest in Peace ………Today, the shell got buried!

Pictured above is me taken on the day of my name change hearing. Wooooooohoooooooooooo!!

Dark Ages, Families and Firsts

Sunday morning at the new abode and I am still living in the dark ages! You know the ‘dark ages” – the time period before Cable TV and the internet. Last week’s violent storm left me in the dark for a while and our power line ripped from the house and laying across the yard and upper floor deck as pieces of wood shattered about the roof. The power got restored in a day but I am now entering my eighth day without internet or Cable TV as apparently the storm winds tore apart our service and left me in the dark ages. Paula is still only here a few days a week and Jenny is back out in NM for work after her return home for less than forty eight hours. So I am left alone and facing the dark ages. One does not begin to realize how much one needs the internet until they are without it for any length of time. I have to bring my computer everywhere to find other sources of the “information highway”. It is roughing for sure my friends. The internet is how I run my business and find work. It is how I stay connected to friends…….it is how I find out what is going on the world. I get e-mails from old friends who find out about me and offer their support. I stay connected with my lawyer back in Huntington as I work my way through the tangles of the divorce and my legal name change. What miniscule reports or news (or chastising) I get from my immediate family comes from the internet. I feel like I got off the information highway at an exit only to find there was no return to the road. Maybe I can some guy in long trench coat out there somewhere in a seedy alley selling internet. (Hey baby…….need a connection??) I hope they get this straightened out soon. One can only live in the dark ages so long.
My middle part of the week was exciting as I attended my first professional event and Board meeting for my MPI Chapter as Melissa. I was welcomed with open arms at the Board meeting and no one even slipped up on name or pronoun. I was very pleased indeed! I met up with some of my friends in the ladies room of the Hilton Hotel where I received several hugs and a warm welcome the “club”. The luncheon had about 90 people there and it was great program and I found much more support and understanding. Several women had long chats with me about my transition, the future and life as a woman. Again I got all sorts of hugs and much support and understanding and for my first time doing anything professionally, it went pretty well. I was very happy that day and I know I can function as Melissa in professional settings. I have some resumes in and some wonderful business opportunities I am exploring including partnering with another TS sister on a business venture. I feel the best way to approach anything in work settings is to be confident and stay relaxed which helps you fit in and blend into the new situations for others as well as you.
Finally this past weekend Paula and I did our first entertaining as Jenny had returned for a quick fix of laser and some fresh clothes and we hosted dinner for her parents. Jenny’s parents were exceptionally super people and I, as well as Paula, thoroughly enjoyed meeting them and it is so nice when parents ultimately accept and embrace you for who you are as a person. I also enjoyed cooking and baking for guests and because her mother is a vegetarian I decided to make an old recipe I have for vegetarian lasagna and some fresh break. Jenny grilled some Italian sausage and her mother made a fruit salad that was out so delicious. Good food led to good company and delightful chats and shortly after mother and father left her sister and her husband and niece and had a wonderful time chatting with them as well. Jenny’s sister is very supportive of her and it was good to see them share things with each other and they seemed to have grown closer since jenny came out. Paula and I enjoyed meeting them so much! On Sunday, I got a call from my friend Chloe who wanted to take advantage of the beautiful weather to fly with Denny to visit and I was so glad she called. Paula and I met them at the airport with her children in tow and we had a bite to eat and we showed them the house and chatted about our lives and changes and the upcoming trip to SCC in Atlanta. The kids enjoyed the cats and beautiful lovely parrot and we shuttled them back out to the airport for their return and went back to the house to finally relax. It was a most wonderful weekend of visits indeed.
I snuck in an hour internet over the weekend by driving to Panera Bread and I found several wonderful e-mails of support. Apparently, I am the topic of much discussion in my old town so I might as well enjoy it for in a month or two it will be all blown over and I will be yesterday’s news. However, for the moment my website is apparently generating many hits of curious seekers as the hit meter is evidently spinning like a turnstile. Now if I can only find some internet I can post this blog and maybe check out the hit meter. Dark ages seem to be all around me and I feel like a a CNN reporter announcing…………………..
“Day nine and the internet and cable are still being held hostage!”
Pictured above is me with my good friend Debbie Dunkle taken three months ago who I will see again next week in Atlanta for SCC