Hello from fabulous Montréal! Home of the “the world’s largest village for the GBLT community” and masses of French speaking people. Yes, for the second time this year, I got to venture to Canada and you know me, if I have time during my travel, Melissa goes exploring. One of these days I just may sit down and write the Transgendered guide to travel and attractions in North America. In January, I got to visit Toronto and the Village there. Although the “Village” in Toronto encompasses more square footage than its counterpart here, two things separate it and give it its world wide distinction. First, the Village in Montreal (“le Village”) is pure GBLT and the Village in Toronto is spread out among area containing a university and stores that while accepting, are not geared or focused on our community. Le Village in Montreal, formally known as Le Gay Village before it became politically incorrect to exclude lesbians, bisexuals and transgendereds which make up the LBGT community, is a concentrated area in which all the shops, restaurants, bars, pubs, clubs, hotels and Band B’s are devoted to the GBLT community. On weekends in the summer, they literally block off car traffic in the Village so it becomes one giant multi block party in the heart of the vibrant city of Montreal which clearly has the feel of a European city unlike Toronto. Secondly, this “European” area feel is also enhanced by the fact French, and not English, is the customarily spoken and clearly preferred language of Montreal and the province of Quebec.
Now I know there are many in the US who have this distaste for the French and lets face it, the French have not been the best defenders of their land over history, but how can anyone in the LGBT community not truly appreciate the very people who gave us fine wine, classic art, gay Paris, cabaret and in Montreal “le Village”. Additionally, French is such a romantic language and one of love and romance. You can say almost everything in French and it will sound better( think Chevy Chase in European Vacation where the waiter clearly insults him but since he rolled off such beautiful French with a smile Chase actually thinks he is warm and friendly and likes him). Finally, any place that takes French fries and then pours gravy and cheese over them (poutine frites) and calls them a delicacy is fine in my book! C’est beau!
The Village in Montreal is an easy metro ride from downtown and in fact could really even be walked if you have a bit of time. You exit at the Beaudry metro stop on the green line and this places you in the heart of the Village and just in case you think you may have missed it the giant pillars of the building of this Metro stop are painted in the rainbow colors of the flag of our community, a flag by the way that flies proudly in nearly every establishment in the Village. I proceeded to find my Band B which was only a block form the Metro station and got settled in there. Most of the small hotels and Band B’s in the Village are operated by those in the GBLT community and mine was no different. BBV was operated by a warm and friendly gay couple. I chatted with them that evening on the deck before I headed out for the evening. Having seen me in boi mode upon arrival they were very sweet in raving over my stunning younger looks as Melissa.
I wore a very tight and very short red dress with my black heels which they kindly complimented and several other as I walked around gave me meows and cat calls but it was on in fun and if you are wearing an outfit like that it is something you wanted to hear anyway! The BBV had wonderful cozy rooms, a deck and Jacuzzi and they provided a fabulous breakfast the next morning including warm croissants and cranberry bread and much needed hot coffee. The reading materials scattered about the area near the bedrooms, showers, kitchen area and deck were definitely more interesting than your common Time or Newsweek magazines for sure!
Through out the night and early morning, as I did not arrive back at my Band B until 3AM, I walked around these neat colorful village stopping to browse at a shop or to have a drink in a pub and I was openly accepted by every place I went to without question. My early part of the evening was spent in a wonderful little bistro where I sat and dined on seafood and a bottle of Pinot Noir and chatted with his colorful gay man named Louie. We talked about how life was different in Montreal and how he teaches elementary school where his fellow teachers and administration and many parents support him and are well aware of his alternative lifestyle including his fourth grade students. How many people in the same situation outside of the west coast could say the same thing in America? He explained the village in more detail to me, introduced me to some of his friends who came in as well as the chef who he knew well. We talked about how things were different in the states and clearly that we have but desperately need some places like le Village in the US. Oh, I can just see the intense loathing and vigorous protests from the narrow minded religious right now about “Sodom and Gomorrah” being brought to America should that happen anytime soon. Louie chatted about love and life and we laughed and enjoyed outstanding delicious food and good wine. (C’etait delicieux) He was kind enough to take my picture as I sat in the Bistro.
After diner I resumed my search of clubs and pubs and enjoyed the fact I was not going to be driving that evening so I free to relax and have fun. Finally, I arrived at one of the most famous clubs in le Village in Cabaret Mado where it was packed for the nightly entertainment. The drag queens were fabulous and had many outrageous costumes. There were at least 9 or 10 performers and the emcee was hilarious although she spoke French and I had to go more on gestures with my limited knowledge of French language. They performed for nearly two and half hours in split sets with dancing by the audience on stage in between the sets. I met several girls there. The first one I met I actually thought in all seriousness was a genetic girl and only by talking with her did I discover she wasn’t. Passable did not even begin to describe this lady. The girls were very nice and we sat and talked about the transgendered communities in our respective locations and drank and danced and watched the wonderful shows. Most of them like me love to get out and do other things besides clubbing such as shopping and dining and sightseeing. The night ended around three o’clock with my short block and half trip back to my Band B. I did have to spend an hour or so fending off the insistent but friendly advances of a gentleman whose intensions of getting me back to my bedroom for sex were fairly obvious. His heavy French accent and whisperings of sweet nothings I guess it made it flattering but he was harmless. I ended the night by saying my goodbyes to my sisters from Montreal in the traditional French greeting of exchanging kisses on each cheek. Sisters and friends I highly recommend a visit to le Village should your travels ever take you to Montreal. I had so much fun here in Montreal and definitely want to return. Until then my friends, Bon Soir and au revoir mademoiselles!
Friday, April 4, 2008
Being (southern) comforted while pondering the risking of it all ( Fall 2007)
These transgendered conferences are truly wonderful but they sure can wear you out- that is for sure. This week I crammed a trip to Atlanta and my first visit to SCC in a week I really did not need to with my impending work week. However, my curiosity of this intriguing event got the best of me and last Wednesday I drove by myself eight hours to Atlanta mostly due to the fact I could not find someone to share a ride with which would have made the trip more fun, less tiring and cheaper and due to the fact I was unsuccessful in finding an airfare that did not cost me a body part. Today (Sunday) I find myself even more worn out in driving back (can’t figure out how that happened but maybe it had something do with the fact I lived on a few hours of sleep each night during my stay.- just a wild guess) As I sit in my favorite road spot Panera Bread taking a coffee break I decided to write my blog about my thoughts about the largest transgendered conference in the world –SCC.
This convention is different from many others because it truly is a transgendered event for all transgendered people. Some conferences focus on crossdressers or just t-girls but this event is open to and attended by everyone form the occasional CD to the full blown transitioned girl as well as gender benders and transmen. That alone makes it unique and different from many other events. I enjoy these events for many reasons even though I am out frequently either myself or with a other friends expressing Melissa. First of all, the sheer fact that nearly 900 people attended SCC is incredible and it is always nice to be immersed in a
Community of like minded people (not implying we all clones but you know what I mean – we have for more in common than we do have differences and being surrounded by many friends in the community always enriches me and gives me even more strength to face the rest of the world as transgendered person because that is who I am and always will be! I am a part of the community and the community is part of me. Secondly, although the social activities and workshops are entertaining and fun as well as a chance to gain more information, one of my favorite things is to interact with others on a one on one basis over a drink whether in the lounge or over the morning coffee( thank God for the coffee shop in the lobby !) I had my first opportunity to meet and chat with a transman and find out what his life was like and how it compared to those of us going the other direction. I chatted with several girls transitioning and how they have “survived” the surgery, the work situations and relationships – many inundated with battle wounds and scars. One I chatted with one evening looked me in the eye and said “Melissa – nothing in this world can be obtained if you want it bad enough and it is worth obtaining without being able to be willing to risk everything! A few years ago that would have left me running for cover but now I know she is right and I simply nodded my head to her. I also met with a couple who is fighting to stay together despite the husband’s full transition in which we discussed rights and legalities on this complex issue. I also chatted with a another spouse who through all sorts of questions at me about things like grandchildren, weddings of my children and such should I go the route of transitioning and living full time as Melissa and these were fair questions and invoked some good discussion about the future and even the future of the tg movement in our society. There was also lots of discussion both in general and overt the dinner tables about the legislation before Congress regarding employment rights for the LGBT community members and the Hate Crimes Bill both of which the President has threatened to veto. Finally, for the first time ever a career expo was held at SCC in which companies such as American Airlines, Microsoft and others came and held a job fair to discuss career opportunities with transgendered people.
I had a truly wonderful time meeting people and seeing some of the city, socializing and shopping but clearly my favorite times were the discussions with others over a drink or coffee or at dinner. These discussions enrich me, they help guide me in my journey and they engage my mind and afterward I seem to grow stronger even if they raise more questions than answer them. It was wonderful to see so many transgendered people in one place and I believe our future will be one of progress for dignity and rights and acceptance but again it will not come without sacrifice and sorrow and anguish. But again – we must remember if the cause and goal is truly worthwhile we must be willing to risk it all. Sleep well my friends and I wish each of you peace and happiness in your journey and in our journey together as transgendered people.
This convention is different from many others because it truly is a transgendered event for all transgendered people. Some conferences focus on crossdressers or just t-girls but this event is open to and attended by everyone form the occasional CD to the full blown transitioned girl as well as gender benders and transmen. That alone makes it unique and different from many other events. I enjoy these events for many reasons even though I am out frequently either myself or with a other friends expressing Melissa. First of all, the sheer fact that nearly 900 people attended SCC is incredible and it is always nice to be immersed in a
Community of like minded people (not implying we all clones but you know what I mean – we have for more in common than we do have differences and being surrounded by many friends in the community always enriches me and gives me even more strength to face the rest of the world as transgendered person because that is who I am and always will be! I am a part of the community and the community is part of me. Secondly, although the social activities and workshops are entertaining and fun as well as a chance to gain more information, one of my favorite things is to interact with others on a one on one basis over a drink whether in the lounge or over the morning coffee( thank God for the coffee shop in the lobby !) I had my first opportunity to meet and chat with a transman and find out what his life was like and how it compared to those of us going the other direction. I chatted with several girls transitioning and how they have “survived” the surgery, the work situations and relationships – many inundated with battle wounds and scars. One I chatted with one evening looked me in the eye and said “Melissa – nothing in this world can be obtained if you want it bad enough and it is worth obtaining without being able to be willing to risk everything! A few years ago that would have left me running for cover but now I know she is right and I simply nodded my head to her. I also met with a couple who is fighting to stay together despite the husband’s full transition in which we discussed rights and legalities on this complex issue. I also chatted with a another spouse who through all sorts of questions at me about things like grandchildren, weddings of my children and such should I go the route of transitioning and living full time as Melissa and these were fair questions and invoked some good discussion about the future and even the future of the tg movement in our society. There was also lots of discussion both in general and overt the dinner tables about the legislation before Congress regarding employment rights for the LGBT community members and the Hate Crimes Bill both of which the President has threatened to veto. Finally, for the first time ever a career expo was held at SCC in which companies such as American Airlines, Microsoft and others came and held a job fair to discuss career opportunities with transgendered people.
I had a truly wonderful time meeting people and seeing some of the city, socializing and shopping but clearly my favorite times were the discussions with others over a drink or coffee or at dinner. These discussions enrich me, they help guide me in my journey and they engage my mind and afterward I seem to grow stronger even if they raise more questions than answer them. It was wonderful to see so many transgendered people in one place and I believe our future will be one of progress for dignity and rights and acceptance but again it will not come without sacrifice and sorrow and anguish. But again – we must remember if the cause and goal is truly worthwhile we must be willing to risk it all. Sleep well my friends and I wish each of you peace and happiness in your journey and in our journey together as transgendered people.
Mode Switching ( Dec. 07)
Sometimes I almost confuse myself …….I am not happy with all of the “mode switching” I am involved in my current stage of my journey as a transgendered person. Just the other week I worked during the day on Monday enfemme but had to change before my son came home from school since he is not aware and not ready to understand what is going on with his father. On Tuesday, I was at my transgender support group meeting on Tuesday night enfemme after working during day in my dreaded boi mode shell. Wednesday I got to spend the entire day presenting as my true self Melissa and enjoyed it immensely but on Thursday another business function forced me back to boi mode. Friday, I traveled as Melissa and went out with a friend for dinner and theatre. Saturday was another day enfemme but Sunday brought back the ugly shell. I figured it out one day. I am spending about 40% of my time presenting myself as Melissa and about 60% of the time stuck in the ugly boi mode shell.
Don’t get me wrong- I remember a time when my presentation as Melissa was very limited and I got out maybe once every couple months. I enjoy the fact that my time presenting my true self has dramatically increased and I expect it to and want it to increase even more as time progresses. I do envy sometimes the girls or guys who are Trans who live either full time or are so part time it’s like an occasional exploration into the other realm. It’s not that I want to go back to those days at all- for I love presenting my true self as often as I possibly can. However, what I envy is the fact that in both scenarios, the person does not have to switch back and forth so frequently their head spins like Linda Blair in the Exorcist. For those of who are around 50/50 in our presentations, it gets crazy sometimes with all this “mode switching”. Hell sometimes I get confused on which bathroom to go into. For example, if I spend a couple days presenting myself as Melissa and then have to switch modes I find myself instinctively walking to the ladies room without even noticing it ….only catching myself at the last minute – sometimes.
I hope my journey continues to the point that this mode switching diminishes significantly or maybe even ends all together so I can get over the Linda Blair syndrome and stop nearly embarrassing myself in my selection of a restroom. I think mode switching should be left to transformers and light switches or convertible automobiles. Life and society just does not always make it easy for people to do avoid this head spinning phenomena! However, in the meantime if you hear they are casting for any remakes of the Exorcist or if you see poor Melissa heading for the wrong restroom give her a gentle nudge to the appropriate door….
Don’t get me wrong- I remember a time when my presentation as Melissa was very limited and I got out maybe once every couple months. I enjoy the fact that my time presenting my true self has dramatically increased and I expect it to and want it to increase even more as time progresses. I do envy sometimes the girls or guys who are Trans who live either full time or are so part time it’s like an occasional exploration into the other realm. It’s not that I want to go back to those days at all- for I love presenting my true self as often as I possibly can. However, what I envy is the fact that in both scenarios, the person does not have to switch back and forth so frequently their head spins like Linda Blair in the Exorcist. For those of who are around 50/50 in our presentations, it gets crazy sometimes with all this “mode switching”. Hell sometimes I get confused on which bathroom to go into. For example, if I spend a couple days presenting myself as Melissa and then have to switch modes I find myself instinctively walking to the ladies room without even noticing it ….only catching myself at the last minute – sometimes.
I hope my journey continues to the point that this mode switching diminishes significantly or maybe even ends all together so I can get over the Linda Blair syndrome and stop nearly embarrassing myself in my selection of a restroom. I think mode switching should be left to transformers and light switches or convertible automobiles. Life and society just does not always make it easy for people to do avoid this head spinning phenomena! However, in the meantime if you hear they are casting for any remakes of the Exorcist or if you see poor Melissa heading for the wrong restroom give her a gentle nudge to the appropriate door….
If you Build It.... They will Come (Fall 07)
I am tired from a long week of traveling but mostly I am tired from a wonderful weekend spent at an absolutely gorgeous, scenic property nestled in the hills of West Virginia
where we had just concluded the first ever (and hopefully not the last) Pink Essence of WV and Pink Essence of VA joint picnic and campout (although I will admit sleeping on an air mattress in the comfort of an air conditioned house/ cabin in my pink Pjs is not necessarily roughing it I will admit but clearly is this girl’s preference for sure). Yes- an organized transgendered event in West “By God” Virginia and the world did not come crashing to an end! (Stop the presses people). The event was planned by Debbie as the coordinator of Pink essence of VA and me as the coordinator of Pink essence of WV and we spent lots of time in planning and invested a lot of our own money to make it happen because we care about our sisters!
The event was held on the property owned by Debbie and her delightful wife Sandy (see my previous blog on “The Significant Other”) It was a private secluded place with beautiful, gorgeous scenery, a deck out back of the house and wildlife such as deer, foxes, turkeys and many other animals scattered around the property and a view of the mountains that is to die for along with the fresh morning breeze in the air that softly awakening you each day! We made it secluded so girls could come either dressed (and some did) or dress there (some did). Some brought their spouse and others did not. We simply tried to accommodate everyone and make it safe and fun and comfortable for the guests with consideration that some of them may not be as comfortable as others in public .Food and southern hospitality abound throughout the weekend with cookouts including hamburgers and hotdogs deliciously grilled by yours truly I might add, as well as such wonderful dishes such as potato salads, pasta salad, taco salad, slaw, corn on the cob (Ok I’ll admit it grilling the corn in the husks was not my best decision- LOL) and your choice of delicious pies and cakes for desserts ( or a sample of all three although this practice has been known to add a size in the waistlines ladies ). Breakfasts were served better than those you get at IHOP, Shoney’s or Denny’s with eggs cooked to order, cereal, fruit, various meats, toast and preserves, juices and of course – Coffee. The abundance of food was supplemented with cold delicious beverages such as daiquiris, beer, wine, soda and water as well as tea. The most important ingredient of the weekend was however the laughter and joyous times together with warm, friendly people who came, providing opportunities to meet and even renew friendships with wonderful people- sisters I love so dearly as well as spouses who love and support their transgendered partners! A most wonderful time was had by all who attended.
Although Virginia was missing a few girls due to a couple of scheduling conflicts the state was well represented including a lovely lady by the name of Virginia and her lovely spouse who even runs a support group in the transgendered community! Debbie and I both extended invitations to the Ohio Pink Essence Group (my home away from home) and we even had two girls (Alex and Martina) drive all the way down from Cleveland). Girls came from as far away as Virginia Beach and Richmond and drove 5-6 to six hours to get there. Now despite the attendance of Virginia and Ohio, how many girls form WV came to this private no way you can get in trouble event which was held in the borders of West “By God “Virginia? Exactly two and that includes yours truly who while one of the sponsors and hosts really just came to just show off her new pink summer skirt and summer sandals! Two girls – that’s it….on a summer weekend with nice weather and a month of advertising. I did get lots of excuses most of which could be summed up by the fact the closet was not large enough to stretch to southern WV and if it did, that sunlight might still be hazardous to closet’s interior. I would repeat some of the excuses but it would only invoke shrieks of uncontrollable laughter and I am not here to embarrass any of my sisters! We had girls driving six – seven hours from Cleveland and five and six hours from parts of VA -BUT we can’t get a few WV girls to show up in their home state to meet and have fun with their sisters in about the safest environment possible!
I should be discouraged but I am not going to be and I intend to continue my efforts to break down some barriers here and create events for my sisters in this state. I know these things take time. I know the state is rural, the girls scattered and hiding in fear from a redneck repressive Bible belt region that condemns first and then calls for the burning at the stake and or lynching second! For God’s sake I live here too! It does not have to stay this way and its clearly not going to get any better unless we try and make efforts to simply not accept this climate! It’s never going to get better unless we take risks, work together and keep trying to create events we can be together and help support each other, laugh together and have fun together. I will continue to build this bridge slowly and painstakingly and I will not let frustrations get in the way or cause me to give up of bringing us together as sisters. I only hope that if I, and others who work with me, build it…….they will come!
where we had just concluded the first ever (and hopefully not the last) Pink Essence of WV and Pink Essence of VA joint picnic and campout (although I will admit sleeping on an air mattress in the comfort of an air conditioned house/ cabin in my pink Pjs is not necessarily roughing it I will admit but clearly is this girl’s preference for sure). Yes- an organized transgendered event in West “By God” Virginia and the world did not come crashing to an end! (Stop the presses people). The event was planned by Debbie as the coordinator of Pink essence of VA and me as the coordinator of Pink essence of WV and we spent lots of time in planning and invested a lot of our own money to make it happen because we care about our sisters!
The event was held on the property owned by Debbie and her delightful wife Sandy (see my previous blog on “The Significant Other”) It was a private secluded place with beautiful, gorgeous scenery, a deck out back of the house and wildlife such as deer, foxes, turkeys and many other animals scattered around the property and a view of the mountains that is to die for along with the fresh morning breeze in the air that softly awakening you each day! We made it secluded so girls could come either dressed (and some did) or dress there (some did). Some brought their spouse and others did not. We simply tried to accommodate everyone and make it safe and fun and comfortable for the guests with consideration that some of them may not be as comfortable as others in public .Food and southern hospitality abound throughout the weekend with cookouts including hamburgers and hotdogs deliciously grilled by yours truly I might add, as well as such wonderful dishes such as potato salads, pasta salad, taco salad, slaw, corn on the cob (Ok I’ll admit it grilling the corn in the husks was not my best decision- LOL) and your choice of delicious pies and cakes for desserts ( or a sample of all three although this practice has been known to add a size in the waistlines ladies ). Breakfasts were served better than those you get at IHOP, Shoney’s or Denny’s with eggs cooked to order, cereal, fruit, various meats, toast and preserves, juices and of course – Coffee. The abundance of food was supplemented with cold delicious beverages such as daiquiris, beer, wine, soda and water as well as tea. The most important ingredient of the weekend was however the laughter and joyous times together with warm, friendly people who came, providing opportunities to meet and even renew friendships with wonderful people- sisters I love so dearly as well as spouses who love and support their transgendered partners! A most wonderful time was had by all who attended.
Although Virginia was missing a few girls due to a couple of scheduling conflicts the state was well represented including a lovely lady by the name of Virginia and her lovely spouse who even runs a support group in the transgendered community! Debbie and I both extended invitations to the Ohio Pink Essence Group (my home away from home) and we even had two girls (Alex and Martina) drive all the way down from Cleveland). Girls came from as far away as Virginia Beach and Richmond and drove 5-6 to six hours to get there. Now despite the attendance of Virginia and Ohio, how many girls form WV came to this private no way you can get in trouble event which was held in the borders of West “By God “Virginia? Exactly two and that includes yours truly who while one of the sponsors and hosts really just came to just show off her new pink summer skirt and summer sandals! Two girls – that’s it….on a summer weekend with nice weather and a month of advertising. I did get lots of excuses most of which could be summed up by the fact the closet was not large enough to stretch to southern WV and if it did, that sunlight might still be hazardous to closet’s interior. I would repeat some of the excuses but it would only invoke shrieks of uncontrollable laughter and I am not here to embarrass any of my sisters! We had girls driving six – seven hours from Cleveland and five and six hours from parts of VA -BUT we can’t get a few WV girls to show up in their home state to meet and have fun with their sisters in about the safest environment possible!
I should be discouraged but I am not going to be and I intend to continue my efforts to break down some barriers here and create events for my sisters in this state. I know these things take time. I know the state is rural, the girls scattered and hiding in fear from a redneck repressive Bible belt region that condemns first and then calls for the burning at the stake and or lynching second! For God’s sake I live here too! It does not have to stay this way and its clearly not going to get any better unless we try and make efforts to simply not accept this climate! It’s never going to get better unless we take risks, work together and keep trying to create events we can be together and help support each other, laugh together and have fun together. I will continue to build this bridge slowly and painstakingly and I will not let frustrations get in the way or cause me to give up of bringing us together as sisters. I only hope that if I, and others who work with me, build it…….they will come!
Pamper me ! (January 2008)
Oh heavenly wonders this girl does love pampering! I love it more than shopping, and I do love to shop, and almost as much as love finding a good deal on a pair new heels. Pampering is a truly wonderful thing that most men never experience because they consider it too feminine and girlie. I on the other hand simply adore pampering and love it so much I might advise you to invest in some stock based in spas and salons. I have given gifts of certificates for afternoon at spas and salons to several friends and even my wife and many times I have found that the certificates go unused for so long I would not be surprised that the certificates have expired! That my friend is like sacrilege! Somebody gives me a gift certificate for a day or afternoon or heck even and hour of pampering and I at the spa or salon so fast you would not have time to utter the word pampering before I have that appointment booked. I am a spa junkie needing that pampering fix so bad heroin junkies have less problems with withdrawing from their addiction than I would giving up the delights of delightful delicate pampering such as facials, massages, manicures, and the mother of all pampering ……the pedicure ..Oh it’s to die for girl!
The facials are delightful things in that they do help restore your face and I do these delights on occasion although I will admit a bit more frequently now that I have been tearing the face up with the hot needles from electrolysis. It seems restore some of the balance to my face as it loses hair follicles and has a more feminine appearance. Massages are great stress relief and when you have pressure situations with work and lots of typing or driving as I often have which puts much stress on the shoulders and back. Massages are highly wonderful devices to get that tension and stress out of one’s body. I am so relaxed during these babies I usually drift off to sleep while the tension is smoothed away. I also enjoy a good manicure primarily because I am not particularly great at doing my nails myself as I age and my eyes don’t focus as well on the details and using my non dominate hand to do the nails on the dominate one usually results in a bit of sloppiness. I like keeping my nails looking pretty. However, the mother of all pampering is the pedicure! Oh my- these are heavenly delights and are literally to die for girls. If you have never done one – you have missed out on the best thing in the salon or spa. If you have only one choice of service to get at a spa even if it’s just once every few months – let me say this …Choose the Pedicure! Your poor little feet carry you around all day and sometimes at night in heels and dancing and your feet get pounded on by the floors and streets and everything else they have to endure while holding the burden of your weight as well Give the little darlings a treat. The first thing you get to do is sit back in a comfy soft chair that applies heat and massage to your back and shoulders as you recline. Then your feet are places in a warm bubbly tub that massages your feet and soaks them with such pleasures I would rate the experience as even better than sex! After soaking your feet, one at time they are attended to with scrubbing and exfoliate and wrapped and primped with cuticles preened and the nails shaped and filed. After more and more soaking and scrubbing and the application of lotion, the little darlings are then coated with gloss and a delightful color of pretty polish. I am in heaven at that point for it is truly pampering at its finest girls! In fact I hope that the afterlife is full of such rich pleasures such as pedicures and other forms of pampering. If its not I am not sure I want to be there! So girls- go pamper yourself. All those years when you were pretending to be the macho guy and pushing everything and playing while hurt and all that other bull is in the past ..Enjoy your femininity and love of pampering…I know I will. See you at the spa or salon ladies!!!
The facials are delightful things in that they do help restore your face and I do these delights on occasion although I will admit a bit more frequently now that I have been tearing the face up with the hot needles from electrolysis. It seems restore some of the balance to my face as it loses hair follicles and has a more feminine appearance. Massages are great stress relief and when you have pressure situations with work and lots of typing or driving as I often have which puts much stress on the shoulders and back. Massages are highly wonderful devices to get that tension and stress out of one’s body. I am so relaxed during these babies I usually drift off to sleep while the tension is smoothed away. I also enjoy a good manicure primarily because I am not particularly great at doing my nails myself as I age and my eyes don’t focus as well on the details and using my non dominate hand to do the nails on the dominate one usually results in a bit of sloppiness. I like keeping my nails looking pretty. However, the mother of all pampering is the pedicure! Oh my- these are heavenly delights and are literally to die for girls. If you have never done one – you have missed out on the best thing in the salon or spa. If you have only one choice of service to get at a spa even if it’s just once every few months – let me say this …Choose the Pedicure! Your poor little feet carry you around all day and sometimes at night in heels and dancing and your feet get pounded on by the floors and streets and everything else they have to endure while holding the burden of your weight as well Give the little darlings a treat. The first thing you get to do is sit back in a comfy soft chair that applies heat and massage to your back and shoulders as you recline. Then your feet are places in a warm bubbly tub that massages your feet and soaks them with such pleasures I would rate the experience as even better than sex! After soaking your feet, one at time they are attended to with scrubbing and exfoliate and wrapped and primped with cuticles preened and the nails shaped and filed. After more and more soaking and scrubbing and the application of lotion, the little darlings are then coated with gloss and a delightful color of pretty polish. I am in heaven at that point for it is truly pampering at its finest girls! In fact I hope that the afterlife is full of such rich pleasures such as pedicures and other forms of pampering. If its not I am not sure I want to be there! So girls- go pamper yourself. All those years when you were pretending to be the macho guy and pushing everything and playing while hurt and all that other bull is in the past ..Enjoy your femininity and love of pampering…I know I will. See you at the spa or salon ladies!!!
Roughing Out Melissa (Fall 07)
Oh my, I have finally discovered a transgendered girl’s version of hell- being forced by circumstances to spend three days in the wilderness in rustic cabins as a “male” with five other males for card playing, beer drinking, “smelly odors”, fishing and so called “male bonding” activities. Now I love my college friends dearly and they have been wonderful friends to each other over the years. Our lives together began at a time when we were young and believed we would live forever unless the alcohol we consumed in mass quantities killed us but we always felt it would “preserve us” for prosperity. When we finished school and each embarked upon our respective careers we started a tradition which has continued for twenty-five years of returning to my campus for a long weekend of drinking, card playing, tailgating, football watching, fishing or golfing, dinners and camaraderie and for twenty-five consecutive years we have done so. Although we have gotten older and our bodies ability to absorb alcohol has greatly diminished over time we persevere.
For me however, recent years have presented many challenges as my true being has continued emerging from the shell that confined her for so many years. Yes I knew I was different even back when this tradition began but as I have said many times repression and denials are wonderful tools but they only work for a brief while. By immersing myself in this male bonding ritual I was able to fool myself and keep Melissa “in check”. The last few years it has become so much harder to do so. Melissa is a soft, sweet, feminine girl who loves shopping and beauty products and pampering and who adores pink! The idea of “roughing it” as they say is not something Melissa really considers as real viable option.
The long weekend started rough as I spent most of the evening driving and hauling in luggage, fishing gear, boxes of supplies and large bags of ice upon which I tore one of my beautiful nails I have been working on for months. The cabins provide little in the way of counter space I adore and one barely had room to attend to one’s needs by the sink or in the shower which was the size of a short phone booth! Pampering my body with lotions and creams was going to be extremely difficult. Additionally, only one of the other five friends knows of Melissa and one glance of my body or toes would have raised more questions than a Watergate inquiry to all but one of them. My friend David knows about me being transgendered because he is a part of the LGBT community himself. About thirteen years ago, he confided in me as a friend that he was gay and I felt that he deserved to know about me so I said to him” speaking of true confessions, by the way I am transgendered” I think our friendship has grown stronger because we share a secret. I know its hard on him to do all this outdoor stuff as he would rather spend his time at a museum or the opera than the great outdoors but he suffers through it.
Friday was miserable as we spent eight hours fishing on a boat in and out of periodic rain showers which left us soaked and cold. I have never been a fan of dealing with the messy worms and God knows I never touch the fish I catch as they are slimy and my idea of fish is grilled and served on my dinner platter. I tried to avoid using the worms but after the minnows ran out I was forced to. My fingers took another beating and I spent most of Friday evening trying to clean up my nails which were such disasters by now I could send a nail tech’s child to college for what it is going to cost me to pamper them back into girl shape. I did manage to catch two small mouth bass which my friends remove from the hook for me. After a hot shower which is not a daily occurrence on this frontier weekend, I felt a little better in a fresh pair of panties and some body wash on my body. I do much of the cooking over the trip as I am a very good cook and I cooked breakfast before we left and dinner Friday night which was raved about over cards before the conversation turned to the size of one‘s bowel movements and the “tits” on the girl at the boat dock as well as many other crude and lewd comments made by men while drinking beer. If only the rest of them knew I which I was that girl at the boat dock and why can’t we talk about how nice her eyes looked with her makeup or how she styled her hair!
I realized I am not cut out for “roughing it” as I clearly prefer a day at a beauty spa than a day in the wilderness fishing and getting all wet and dirty and listening to typical male comments. My idea of roughing it is to go without satin sheets. I was clearly roughed out again by this experience and I guess the only way its going to change is for me to come clear and let the other four know what David knows and accepts. Hmmmm…...I wonder if that will change the sleeping arrangements and cabin assignments on these long yearly reunion weekend trips .All I know is can someone pass me some sweet smelling body lotion and my perfume? I think I still need to remove this fishy and wilderness smell from poor Melissa‘s body!
For me however, recent years have presented many challenges as my true being has continued emerging from the shell that confined her for so many years. Yes I knew I was different even back when this tradition began but as I have said many times repression and denials are wonderful tools but they only work for a brief while. By immersing myself in this male bonding ritual I was able to fool myself and keep Melissa “in check”. The last few years it has become so much harder to do so. Melissa is a soft, sweet, feminine girl who loves shopping and beauty products and pampering and who adores pink! The idea of “roughing it” as they say is not something Melissa really considers as real viable option.
The long weekend started rough as I spent most of the evening driving and hauling in luggage, fishing gear, boxes of supplies and large bags of ice upon which I tore one of my beautiful nails I have been working on for months. The cabins provide little in the way of counter space I adore and one barely had room to attend to one’s needs by the sink or in the shower which was the size of a short phone booth! Pampering my body with lotions and creams was going to be extremely difficult. Additionally, only one of the other five friends knows of Melissa and one glance of my body or toes would have raised more questions than a Watergate inquiry to all but one of them. My friend David knows about me being transgendered because he is a part of the LGBT community himself. About thirteen years ago, he confided in me as a friend that he was gay and I felt that he deserved to know about me so I said to him” speaking of true confessions, by the way I am transgendered” I think our friendship has grown stronger because we share a secret. I know its hard on him to do all this outdoor stuff as he would rather spend his time at a museum or the opera than the great outdoors but he suffers through it.
Friday was miserable as we spent eight hours fishing on a boat in and out of periodic rain showers which left us soaked and cold. I have never been a fan of dealing with the messy worms and God knows I never touch the fish I catch as they are slimy and my idea of fish is grilled and served on my dinner platter. I tried to avoid using the worms but after the minnows ran out I was forced to. My fingers took another beating and I spent most of Friday evening trying to clean up my nails which were such disasters by now I could send a nail tech’s child to college for what it is going to cost me to pamper them back into girl shape. I did manage to catch two small mouth bass which my friends remove from the hook for me. After a hot shower which is not a daily occurrence on this frontier weekend, I felt a little better in a fresh pair of panties and some body wash on my body. I do much of the cooking over the trip as I am a very good cook and I cooked breakfast before we left and dinner Friday night which was raved about over cards before the conversation turned to the size of one‘s bowel movements and the “tits” on the girl at the boat dock as well as many other crude and lewd comments made by men while drinking beer. If only the rest of them knew I which I was that girl at the boat dock and why can’t we talk about how nice her eyes looked with her makeup or how she styled her hair!
I realized I am not cut out for “roughing it” as I clearly prefer a day at a beauty spa than a day in the wilderness fishing and getting all wet and dirty and listening to typical male comments. My idea of roughing it is to go without satin sheets. I was clearly roughed out again by this experience and I guess the only way its going to change is for me to come clear and let the other four know what David knows and accepts. Hmmmm…...I wonder if that will change the sleeping arrangements and cabin assignments on these long yearly reunion weekend trips .All I know is can someone pass me some sweet smelling body lotion and my perfume? I think I still need to remove this fishy and wilderness smell from poor Melissa‘s body!
Friendship in a Tg World (Feb 08)
Friendship among our sisters is a wonderful thing and it has been on my mind a lot lately. When I was growing up as a young “boy” I had a few friends I went to school with and interacted with on a regular basis for activities and such and maybe a few I would consider close friends, although not close enough to tell them my deepest secret and that while I may play baseball with them in the daytime, I was slipping into my mothers clothes at night and living in guilt and shame and confusion. I was considered personable in high school and generally got along with most people and made a few more acquaintances over the years but again there was no one I called a really close friend and again no one that I could ever explain the deep dark secret that hovered inside me. I wanted to be friends with the girls in my class and do some girl things with them but I could not do so for either I would be viewed as a freak by them or a queer to the boys or I would be viewed as attempting to get close to the girls so I could date them and get inside their panties (little did they know I just wanted to wear them!) After the wonderful years of high school I of course ventured off to college where I made a small handful of close (but again not real close) friends I have continued to periodically interact with over the years but again I am not sure how they would react to the news of Melissa except for one who knows and is fine with it.
My sisters on the hand are all my friends and some I have become very close to and there is one who I consider my best friend I ever had in life. I have more close friends who are sisters than I ever had in the male mode. I think this of course is very logical considering that all those friends over the years in school and neighborhood never really knew the real me. They knew only the shell which covered and hid my true self – Melissa from the world. Friendship requires building roots between human beings and it is hard for a shell or covering to bear many deep roots. The roots would only scratch my surface and never penetrate deep into my soul or sense of being which I feel is necessary for real true and deep friendship to nourish and grow! I don’t blame those who did not know me for it was my fear and shame that hid my true self from others around me so they could never be truly close to me. I never had a really wonderful best friend or even very many close friends in my other shell mode and it was my fault and I accept the blame for that fact.
I don’t mean to dwell on the negative because this blog is not about the failures of the past but the triumphs of the present. Melissa, my true self, is very fortunate to have many friends to help me in my journey and I hoped I have helped them along the way as well. I can make friends now because the secret that once pushed others away from getting to close does not exist with my sisters. They see the real me…....they talk to the real me…...they interact and laugh and talk and cry and dance and do all sorts of things with the real me …Melissa. With the barriers lowered and the roots able to take hold wonderful friendships have formed. While I love all my sisters I have become particularly close to some like Ranae who I talk with 3-4 times a week on the phone, Martina who I shared more dual pictures with than any other girl, Mandie and Glenda who both have this bubbly and wonderful persona that makes them sparkle and shine and always make me smile. I have grown to become wonderfully close to people like Debbie who I talk to frequently and share many things with as well as my dear friend Carla who is struggling bad in her life right now after losing her home, her marriage and her job all in a few months. I am very good friends with Joann, my West Virginia sister who I have roomed with at many events and I figure if we can live together in one room for extended periods of time and get along so well in doing so, we have grown closer and closer as girlfriends. I have never had friends like this in the past for the reasons I set forth above. That is all ended and my life is enriched so much by my interaction with my sisters and girlfriends. I grow happier each day because of this even with all the other challenges facing me.
I want to also talk about my very best girlfriend- Paula Katherine White!! I often think what life would have been like in school if I lived it as I should have as Melissa. Paula would have been that special girlfriend that I would have met and grew close to and shared all my secrets with and talked on the phone with and later in life we would have had a wonderful relationship as dear friends who supported each other and cared about each other and helped each other through each of life’s crises and tears as well as celebrated the accomplishments and joys in our lives. Although I did not get to live as Melissa in school and she did not get to live as Paula, we now share that same level of closeness. I love talking with her and spending time with her and sharing our lives with each other which we do frequently. She is an incredible, loving and fun and wonderful person and I am very happy to have her as my best friend. I can share anything with her and we talk about everything in our lives and a call or message from her absolutely makes my day and the times we have spent together in person have been truly wonderful. The roots can grow deep now as the shell does not exist between us and she sees the real me – Melissa and I see only the real her – Paula and I care for her deeply. Life is so good these days because I have made deep friends who are my sisters and one who is very special to me and because of this, the past seems to fade away and the future looks so much brighter!!
My sisters on the hand are all my friends and some I have become very close to and there is one who I consider my best friend I ever had in life. I have more close friends who are sisters than I ever had in the male mode. I think this of course is very logical considering that all those friends over the years in school and neighborhood never really knew the real me. They knew only the shell which covered and hid my true self – Melissa from the world. Friendship requires building roots between human beings and it is hard for a shell or covering to bear many deep roots. The roots would only scratch my surface and never penetrate deep into my soul or sense of being which I feel is necessary for real true and deep friendship to nourish and grow! I don’t blame those who did not know me for it was my fear and shame that hid my true self from others around me so they could never be truly close to me. I never had a really wonderful best friend or even very many close friends in my other shell mode and it was my fault and I accept the blame for that fact.
I don’t mean to dwell on the negative because this blog is not about the failures of the past but the triumphs of the present. Melissa, my true self, is very fortunate to have many friends to help me in my journey and I hoped I have helped them along the way as well. I can make friends now because the secret that once pushed others away from getting to close does not exist with my sisters. They see the real me…....they talk to the real me…...they interact and laugh and talk and cry and dance and do all sorts of things with the real me …Melissa. With the barriers lowered and the roots able to take hold wonderful friendships have formed. While I love all my sisters I have become particularly close to some like Ranae who I talk with 3-4 times a week on the phone, Martina who I shared more dual pictures with than any other girl, Mandie and Glenda who both have this bubbly and wonderful persona that makes them sparkle and shine and always make me smile. I have grown to become wonderfully close to people like Debbie who I talk to frequently and share many things with as well as my dear friend Carla who is struggling bad in her life right now after losing her home, her marriage and her job all in a few months. I am very good friends with Joann, my West Virginia sister who I have roomed with at many events and I figure if we can live together in one room for extended periods of time and get along so well in doing so, we have grown closer and closer as girlfriends. I have never had friends like this in the past for the reasons I set forth above. That is all ended and my life is enriched so much by my interaction with my sisters and girlfriends. I grow happier each day because of this even with all the other challenges facing me.
I want to also talk about my very best girlfriend- Paula Katherine White!! I often think what life would have been like in school if I lived it as I should have as Melissa. Paula would have been that special girlfriend that I would have met and grew close to and shared all my secrets with and talked on the phone with and later in life we would have had a wonderful relationship as dear friends who supported each other and cared about each other and helped each other through each of life’s crises and tears as well as celebrated the accomplishments and joys in our lives. Although I did not get to live as Melissa in school and she did not get to live as Paula, we now share that same level of closeness. I love talking with her and spending time with her and sharing our lives with each other which we do frequently. She is an incredible, loving and fun and wonderful person and I am very happy to have her as my best friend. I can share anything with her and we talk about everything in our lives and a call or message from her absolutely makes my day and the times we have spent together in person have been truly wonderful. The roots can grow deep now as the shell does not exist between us and she sees the real me – Melissa and I see only the real her – Paula and I care for her deeply. Life is so good these days because I have made deep friends who are my sisters and one who is very special to me and because of this, the past seems to fade away and the future looks so much brighter!!
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