Sometimes you never know what to expect when you begin something new and for me in my journey that something new was my attendance at my first support group meeting for transgendered people under the guidance of my gender therapist. As with any new experience one always tries to anticipate what that experience will be like. I mean would we all sit around in a circle? …would we all share our thoughts and feelings in our journeys? What role does our therapist play in all this? Will everyone look at me as the newbie and how will I fit in this process. Would I be accepted?
Well my day began wonderfully. I met my friend Ellie in Columbus and we decided to have a wonderful day together in the warm and sunny but not overly hot day but clearly one that screamed for people to be outside and enjoying the soft breeze. It felt more like a fall day than many others in recent weeks although I wonder when my boot and soft sweater wearing weather will arrive! We decided to eat the Cheesecake Factory at Easton in Columbus. Now I will admit I did have a blonde moment in this selection although I was wearing my customary red hair. I told Ellie that I really was not in the mood for cheesecake for lunch and she chuckled and looked at me and said you realize they have more than cheesecake to eat for lunch and I laughed and said “ no, I did not”. They clearly have more than cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory. In fact, they have a pretty extensive menu and Ellie and I dined outside on the front patio and had a fabulous lunch served by a friendly waiter. We love to chit chat and get caught up on what is going on in our lives and we share a lot. Ellie is really sweet girl and I so enjoy spending time with her. After our most delicious lunch we did what we girls love to do-walk around and shop! I really was not intending to buy anything but that is before one of our several stops included the incredible sales at New York New York where I fell victim to the sales! I mean gees they had a cute pink casual top that set me back a whole four dollars and chinos for under ten dollars. We had a great afternoon together and were treated so well by everyone whereever we went. We concluded the afternoon but stopping for a desert pastry and a cup of coffee where we chatted some more. It is nice to share thoughts with a girlfriend for sure!
After leaving Ellie I drove to pick up another friend Dee Dee who wanted to go to group meeting but has not been able to do so because she is handicapped from a brutal assault on her several years ago which left her unable to drive and with some coordination problems . I hope the ugly nasty sick macho men who did this to her because she reported one of them for beating his wife (Can you tell the pattern here?) are still rotting in prison and hopefully the bitch of some 300 pound man who has taught them the meaning of cruelty they clearly deserve to learn. However, Dee Dee’s impairments also leave her challenged when it comes to directions and we got lost a few times on our way to the meeting. When we finally did arrive, Dee Dee and I set near the front of a classroom style setting that held about 45 people. I was amazed by the turnout and it included trans girls of various stages as well as trans men and some spouses of both as well as a few families. One of the transgendered girls was only 16 and I so wish I had been able to find support and guidance when I was that age …things might have been different for sure in my life.
The first part of the meaning is mostly housekeeping with reports from our therapist as well news form her recent conference, the discussion of ENDA, report on SCC and some upcoming events and developments for our community. We always have a speaker and this session was no different as a speech pathologist spoke about the new program for transgendered people to assist us with changing our speech to more reflect our expression of who we are- which in my case would be to learn a more feminine vocal and nonverbal expression. The last part of the class is sharing time in which anyone can raise issues or report on developments in our journeys. I listened this time being the newcomer and I heard both stories of sadness and triumph including several girls who were successful in getting work in their feminine expression. Afterward I helped straighten up the room and chatted with a few people but I sensed most did not know me and it will take some time before they do and warm up a bit more to me. . I plan to return for the next couple months and hopefully in time I will become more vocal and even more welcome. I truly believe our therapist is committed to helping transgendered people and her efforts and her level of involvement on our behalf is wonderful. In time I won’t feel so “grouped” and instead it will feel like another extension of my family that I now have through my friendships and support and communication expressed in my other social support groups. Still, all in all it was a wonderful day and thanks to Dee Dee I now how have a better working knowledge of the western Columbus area!
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