Before I left on the road for a work project the other day in “boi” mode I stopped to pick up a few things to replenish the refrigerator at my local market. I plopped my items on the counter of young female clerk who was startled by my actions. Throughout ringing up my items she kept glancing up at me curiously. Finally when she complete my transaction and bags up the items she says to me “I am sorry I have been starring at you but you know you look like Woody Harrelson” I simply smiled at her and said “its Ok …you know you are not the first person to tell me this” and she clearly was not – not by a country mile.
If I have been told once I have been told a hundred times how much I resemble the actor famous first for his role as Woody Boyd on Cheers in the 1980’s and later for such films as “Natural Born Killers”, “The People versus Larry Flint”, “Money Train”, “Indecent Proposal”, “ Doc Hollywood” and “Kingpin”. I have attended sporting events where I have been tapped on the shoulder and informed “Has anyone ever told you that you look like the actor Woody Harrelson?” I reply and laugh “oh …..A few times” I have been in other parts of the country and even the world for activities and events and meetings and had people whisper to each other after seeing me and then come up and ask the line that rings in my ears once again” Has anyone ever told you that you look like Woody Harrelson?” I again always smile and say thanks but “yes a few times” and laugh. One time- years ago when moving between houses we engaged the services an African American owned moving company which utilized many relatives for its staff. My wife was at the old house helping direct them on movement while I waited at the other end at the new house to help them direct where to place furniture and boxes. When they arrived at the new house the came in the front door just as I was coming down the steps form upstairs, all of a sudden a couple workers began starring at me and laughing and then one turns to the other and says “who’s he look like?”
The others began to turn and look as well ….after a slight pause the one answers “I know…Woody Harrelson…you know from “White Men Can’t Jump”. We all roared with laughter. Another time when I was attending a theatre production in a larger city someone stopped me and seriously asked me “Mr. Harrelson…....may I please have your autograph? I roared with laughter and explained to the poor diluted man that I was not the person he thought I was but he was clearly not the first to think so either.
So I guess if hundreds of people from all the US and the world tell me I look like Woody Harrelson I guess I look a bit like Woody Harrelson. Now I am beginning to wonder when I am presenting myself in my true persona as Melissa …..Do I look like Woody Harrelson in drag? Oh Dear …..What have I done to this talented actor’s Hollywood image? Are pictures of Melissa going to appear in Hollywood Tabloids showing him in dresses and skirts and heels and carrying a purse…..oh dear I was so selfish in my actions to be in public as Melissa I forgot to consider how my life as Melissa might affect Mr. Harrelson. How could I have been so inconsiderate? Soon I begin to wonder what if I really was Woody Harrelson …how cool would that be as I become the first famous actor to transition in Hollywood! Think of all the publicity it would bring to the transgendered community! Could I then continue to act but only as Melissa Harrelson instead? Could I become the first person nominated for academy awards for both Best Actor and Best Actress? I also begin to think how easy transition costs would be with all the money I have as Woody Harrelson. I could probably fly in all the best surgeons to Hollywood instead of me going elsewhere. Most importantly, think about all the great shopping I could do as Melissa Harrelson in the Hollywood boutiques. Woody is such a goofy guy however I guess I would go for the blonde look upon converting to Melissa Harrelson. I just don’t think the red works well for him…..what do you think? Maybe I will ask that store clerk?
Woody: Sam, I found an apartment... It's got everything I ever wanted... a living room and a bedroom. Sam: Isn't this in Chinatown? Woody: I don't think so Sam. Sam: Well yeah I think it is. Did there seem to be a lot of Chinese restaurants around? Woody: Yeah, I guess so. Cliff: Were there a lot of uh signs hanging hither and yonder in Chinese there? Woody: Yeah, come to think of it. Norm: Lots of Chinese people walking around in the street I suppose. Woody: Yeah, but that could just be a coincidence you know. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll call my landlady. If anyone would know, Mrs. Chung would.
Memorable quotes from Cheers 1982-1993
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