The Lake Erie Gala occupied my time for the past week took away my attention from most things. Understandably, the experience has provided great insight into my life and my journey as Melissa. For the first time ever I lived nine consecutive nights and days presenting myself as Melissa in various situations all of which I dealt with successively for all that life threw at me and that exactly what the Gala is about my dear sisters. Growth comes from the engagement and creativity. I commenced this lengthy experiment on Saturday November 10th by spending some time getting pampered in a day spa which I so love to do every once in while (actually I would love to do it more but it is not cheap as you know) and then getting ready for the Canton GNO which worked out perfectly since I was only about 90 minutes from my last few days of work. GNO’s are fun and provide me the opportunity to see my friends periodically and do some dancing but I realize their limitations as far as being Melissa. Many girls never get beyond the level of going to these events first in boi mode then later under the cloak of darkness enfemme but I also realize that is OK and everyone progresses at different levels of comfort or sometimes reaches a point where that is all they go in their journey. I know that is not me but for those who are there I say this – go at your own pace and find your comfort level and if it is attending an event such as this then enjoy and you are still my sister and my friend. At least I got to do dinner with some friends before hand.
On Sunday I got up and dressed and got on the road to Erie Pa for one of my favorite events all year- The Lake Erie Gala. I stopped for lunch along the way and dined by myself. The Gala is special for me for many reasons. First, it is a great time. Secondly, I get to see many dear friends who because of distances I can only see once a year. Thirdly, the event is different than many other transgendered events in that its purpose – beyond just having fun is for to provide opportunities for girls who have never been out to do so in the support and company of their sisters and also because of the way it is structured it provides opportunity to push girls out into very public situations in broad daylight – again with the support of their sisters. The Gala is not an event where you stay congregated in hotel but instead are taken on bus tours and trips to museums, theatre, shopping, wineries and sightseeing all in very public settings where one must learn to interact with the public and the public in turn must learn to accept or at least tolerate us and maybe they will see we are just people having some fun like anyone else. I realized it was a year ago when I first ventured to the Gala as transgendered person who only went out at night to TG friendly establishments and that was it for me. I got out a lot but it was not the same as I have in the past year. The Gala helped me grow more than I ever realized in that I grew very very comfortable with dining out for any of our daily meals, going to plays and theatre, museums and shopping or just for a cup of hot java at the coffee shop whether it was with friends or just all on my own. Once you truly embrace who you are and grow comfortable with presenting this person to society you just reach a point where you do not care whether others in society (other than those situations which present risk to one’s life or health) accept you are not. I hope they do- but if they don’t well I guess that is their loss.
On Sunday evening I dined in the only place which needs to open I guess according to Erie Pa on Sunday- the local sports bar filled with drunken testosterone driven men all upset because their team lost again or gloating because the team won. The food was good and I had no problem with walking to this place from the hotel or being the only transgendered person in there. I met up with a few of my friends who like me had come early and we headed out for a drink or two to catch up with each other’s life. On Monday I ran some errands and got my hair (OK wig) trimmed and styled and had lunch by myself at the local diner. On Monday evening I dined with a few friends over a pint of ale and some great food at a local Irish pub by the warm fireplace( Erie is a cold city in mid November for sure) Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday was a three pronged attack on the Erie retail industry other wise know as shopping. Mall shopping on Tuesday was followed by thrift and consignment shopping on Wednesday and finally outlet mall shopping on Thursday each with a lunch at some local establishment or the food court. .Needless to say the wardrobe has gotten bigger. (Those bargains are so hard to pass up if they have your size) Friday was a day of touring , sightseeing and museums including the Marx toy museum where I got to see the toys I had as a child (the little parking garage and service station that moved my little cars up and down and the Rockem Sockem robots) and the ones I really wanted but did not get(the dolls). I also helped my roommate come out in public for the first time and did her makeup for her before she did ( dang that is hard to do) I got to dine at more fun places and spent my nights dancing at the club with friends or going to a comedy club or a country western karaoke bar. By the way, I cannot sing but I sung three songs this past week including one by myself. However, I realized the secret- wait till near the end when everyone is so sloshed they really can’t tell you can’t sing. On Sunday, I spent the morning saying goodbyes to my dear friends and packing up the car and drove again presenting as Melissa to be at a special event and then have dinner on my own. Yes, the comfort level has surely changed over the last year and my happiness has increased. The journey will progress for me as well as others who try just as I have done in the past year.
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